~~Disclaimer~~Breastfeeding often seems to be a HOT topic. This journal is written ONLY for Breastfeeding moms that wish to stop the real life comments to them. I don't want ANY negative comments on here...they will be deleted. If you find these comebacks helpful...feel free to use them. ~~End of disclaimer~~
All too often, we hear people telling us it's time to wean...or that we're nursing too long (at 6 months old!) So, here's a great way to let them know you are happy with your choice...these COMEBACKS are GREAT!
I know there's a few ways to handle people that judge you, but here are a few snazzy comebacks for the stranger who really should mind their own business.
It's a lot harder to use some of these when talking with family. And, you want to be gentler with people who are asking from their heart and honestly trying to understand.
The following have been stolen and compiled from:
A special thank you to wearingyourbaby for sharing these!
Are you STILL nursing?
Of course, I wouldn't dare ask someone else to do it for me!
What do you mean still? The bare minimum is two years!
Obviously...Are you STILL afraid of seeing a breast? (a good one for someone looking at you nursing with a disgusted look on their face)
Yep! The equipment is still in operation.
Yep! He's still my child, isn't he?
Why do you want a turn?
Of course! He still needs his mommy!
Absolutely! It's a great way for both of us to take a break!Actually, he's the one doing the nursing, I just sit here.
No, I'm not, my mother lives too far away. Jacob is, though.
Of course! Nothing but the best for your grandson! (or nephew or whatever-or even "for my baby")
Yes, isn't it amazing? I am so glad he's not in a hurry to grow up.
Yes, it's really been a life-saver, it is the only liquid he'll drink when he's not feeling well.
Absolutely, isn't love a wonderful thing?
Yes! (Then hold up your hand expecting the other person to high-five you)
Right now? No, he's over there playing. I need him to do it.
I was never a nurse. I don't like needles! I'm an Accountant, remember?
Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of friends and family. (Hint, hint)
Yes, and he's a real pro at it. I am so proud of him.
Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy (not really answering, but it gets the point across that you aren't planning on answering).
I get that question all the time. It is so great that people are looking out for him! (Again, not answering).
Yes, he deserves the very best. He's such a good baby.
(For someone who continuously asks) It is funny how people ask that, but then they don't really want to know.
(for someone who continuously asks) of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him.
(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) do you really want to know this time? You didn't seem satisfied with my answer last time.
Isn't he a little old for that?
(While nursing) Apparently not, the equipment still works for him.
(Surprised) What?! He isn't even out of diapers!
I used to think like you, but then I nursed a baby for the first time and all the rules changed.
Do you think it would be ok to nurse him through the chain link fence at recess when he starts school?
His doctor didn't think so.
Aren't you a little old to be wearing those jeans?
Nope, he's only three, that's not very old considering he'll live to be 100 or so.
Obviously he isn't.
If I thought that way, would I still do it?
No, I don't think he is, do you? (if they say "yes" then answer, "well, then, you already had your answer didn't you")
He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!
He doesn't need his teddy bear either and but we still give it to him.
Maybe not, why don't you read up on it for me. Maybe you can find out if there is an expiration date for my milk.
Only HE knows what he needs and obviously he still needs it.
(Laugh) Where did you hear that?
Shhh - not in front of him, you'll make him feel bad. (then later say "I would prefer it if you wouldn't talk about nursing in front of the baby. How would you feel if someone told you that you were too old for something?")
He can HEAR you, you know.
And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are.
He should be drinking cow's milk from a cup by now.
I am sure he knows how, but if you were him, which would you prefer?
Why? Are we raising him to be a cow?
He likes human milk from these cups better at the moment.
I would like to see where that "rule" is written down.
Why? Human milk is made for humans...and it's free!
And you should be OVER the whole thing by now, are you still afraid of a breastfeeding child?
(sometimes they ask, "when will you start giving him cow's milk?") Not sure, maybe if he starts thinking he is a calf.
When are you going to wean?
(pause) Oh, you were talking to me? I thought you were asking him...he can't answer you yet.
I weaned a long time ago, when I was two I think.
Probably about the same time you get sick of asking.
Weaning isn't even in his vocabulary yet.
Not sure, I hope he is allowed to nurse as long as he likes.
Oh...sometime in the future. (be vague, it gets them every time!)
I suppose whenever he stops nursing, that would be a good time.
That's funny; I was going to ask you when you are planning on going vegetarian (or something equally as ridiculous to ask)
I'm not. He'll wean me.
Before he graduates.
He hasn't told me yet.
I haven't asked him yet. He doesn't really make plans for the future at this point. He just does things day to day.
I don't know, I guess when my milk dries up (confuse a person who has no clue about breastfeeding).
I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together.
I don't know, when the puppies weaned, they were taken away from their mother. It doesn't seem like such a great thing to me.
Oh, I guess right before he walks down the isle. It would probably be inappropriate after he's married.
I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn.
When he leaves for college.
It is so hard to plan anything with a baby. We're just doing things day to day.
We're in no rush; he has time to make up his own mind.
Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child.
(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) It depends, when are you planning on asking me again?
I think it's time you weaned that child.
Now is when it's really getting fun.
What could we possibly gain from that?
I don't. Neither does he.
What, and get my PMS back? Are you crazy?
(And, for the ones you want to be a bit more gentle with...)
Responses to criticism that other parents have used.
"I respect your opinion and value your advice, but I have thought this out carefully and done a lot of research, and my mind is made up. I will be happy to respect your opinion and listen to what you have to say, but you have to respect my decision--and it is MY decision."
"As the mother of this baby, and because of all I've learned about the importance of breastfeeding, in my heart of hearts this is what I want - and need - to do for my child right now. If you love us both, you need to support me in this decision."
"Why would I want to replace nursing with something that costs money and is nutritionally and immunologically inferior?" [This one is not exactly tactful, so consider who you're talking to before you use it.]
- Responses to your parents:
"Now that I've become a mother, I have a new appreciation for what you went through for me, and I'm so thankful to be able to come to you for advice. It especially helps to know that you're going to support me in my decision to breastfeed, because that means so much to me."
"It's not that I resent you for not breastfeeding me - I don't. You made the decision that was right for you and your baby (me). I am making the decision that is right for us."
- The "sandwich" technique sometimes works:
Say something complimentary first: "I'm so glad you are here to be with my children; Having a loving grandma like you is so important; You are such a wonderful grandma, just like I knew you would be."
Then make the point you are trying to make: "It really upsets me when you criticize my choice and my pediatrician's recommendation to breastfeed to the degree that I feel I might start to avoid visiting with you."
Then say something nice again: "That would make me sad because I know you love the children and I want them to have you in their life because you are so special.
I hope everyone found this post as fun and informative as I have! But, before I leave I should leave you with one of my favorite comebacks...
"Think breastfeeding is disgusting? Wait until you find out that a baby comes out of your... VAGINA!"
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