Sleepless Nights

[acextreme956]

So many sleepless nights, like tonight again I can NOT go to sleep no matter how hard I try to close my eyes and just sleep ! Is like I can't shut off my mind. As soon as I lay on my bed I start to think about my baby Joseph and all the wonderful moments we shared together ! His glowing smile and those beautiful green eyes of his , he would  stare at me with so much love and I would stare back at him ! I think about how much he loved being breast fed and taking his little baths he loved that ! I think about how much I miss kissing him and singing to him ! I think about how much I miss waking up in the middle of the night to feed and change him ! I think about how I am never going to do those things with him and for him ! And how I have to live my life without my little fat man ! He was everything to me ! I think about having anoher baby, maybe getting my tubes untied and then I get scared that this will happen again and I do NOT want to feel this pain for another baby taken from me ! and last I think about that horrible day I found My Joseph dead ! and I can NOT sleep everything is quite everyone else sleeps but me !

My life is torture after my son went to heaven ! I try to be happy I know my baby wants me to be, but it is much to hard !

I LOVE YOU JOSEPH AND I MISS YOU MY BABY ........

[Lb128f]

Jul. 30, 2008 at 3:48 AM

I'm so sorry, Sweetie. I know how difficult it is to lose the ones we love. Losing a child is just not the way things are supposed to happen and losing a child the way you lost Joseph...well...I understand why you are having trouble sleeping. Have you asked the Doc for sleep meds? Just because you use them now (at this time in your life) doesn't mean you will have to continue on them forever. And, have you all checked in any support groups like Compassionate Friends? Having support and being able to talk about loss really does help.Sometimes, I think even family members don't understand the emotional, physical and mental affects that loss can have on us. I hope you can get some sleep at some point...my thoughts are with you. Saying a prayer for Joseph.

[phatmomof3]

Jul. 30, 2008 at 10:17 AM

AWWW I know you  are hurting right now... I would be too. So sorry.....NO MOTHER should have to go through what you did. I pray that you will find peace and that you will one day see your baby Joseph again.

[klazl8d]

Jul. 30, 2008 at 12:06 PM

i'm soo sorry...like the other mom said...no mom should go through that! just know you have friends here to lend you a ear or shoulder!