As you all know, my work consists of taking care of my fiance's grandmother who has dementia and is living with his parents.  This seemed to be the perfect job, since I could have my 2 year old daughter Kayiah with me.  This is important to me, I fear daycare because when my son was a toddler (about Kayiah's age) he was molested by his care provider.

Well, lately, sending Kayiah to daycare has been weighing heavily on my mind.  The reason is because Granny stresses about her too much.  She has a hard time understanding Kayiah is 2, and she dosen't need the constant supervision an infant needs.  In turn, this stresses me out because Granny makes me feel like Im not a good enough mother, like, I haven't reached her "standards". 

For instance, Kayiah enjoys running up and down the hallway, I am ok with this.  I figure if she falls, she falls, and she will learn to be more careful.  OHHHH NOOO!  Not in Grannys world.  If Kay leaves the room Granny and I are both in, she figures I need to follow her.  This annoys the fuck out of me!

Earlier, I had to run downstairs to the other refridgerator to get juice for Granny, and as usual, Kayiah followed me.  Kayiah has been doing the whole stair thing since she could walk, but within the past month, we've allowed her to do it unassisted, and she is doing excellent with this.  Granny freaked out when Kay was on her way back up, telling me she wouldn't of let HER children do this, and she feared Kayiah would fall.  Okay, yes, I understand your fear, I have the same fear.  I told her in reply (the same thing I always tell her when she freaks out) that if Kayiah fell, then she would learn the hard way to be more careful.  This usually shuts Granny up.  But it didn't.  Her response was that if Kayiah fell she would kill me....ARGH!

The other day Kayiah was climbing on the table bench (Rans parents have one of those tables with a corner bench as a seat), standing up, which she does, and she hasn't fallen.  Granny freaked out!  I was sooo frustrated, and out of my respect for elders I couldn't tell her where to shove it, lol.  I told her we can not live in a bubble.  She's a kid, she's going to get hurt.

OMG, and a few weeks ago, I went to use the restroom, I had some "business" to take care of.  I was in mid "business" when I hear Granny yelling "hey!  hey!  She's trying to go down the hall!".  Holy shit!  Rolling my eyes, I quickly ended what I had started to see what was going on.  I come into the room and here's Granny gripping Kayiah's arm, and Kayiah was tugging away from her.  I wanted to scream "LET GO OF MY CHILD!'

I don't think growing up as a child of Grannys would have been fun.  If they built houses made out of padding, Im sure thats where she would have raised her 6 kids (yes, 6!).

So, yes, I need to discuss with Randy about putting Kayiah in Daycare, for at least a couple of days a week, to save my sanity, and self esteem where my parenting skills are concerned.

Im sooo happy it's Friday!  2 whole days of not dealing with being put down by Granny.

Tags: cranky ass grandmother, pissy mom, insanity

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