Anxiety and Panic Attacks suck

[LuvOrganic]

On Wednesday after being at work for 5 minutes and taking one call, I had an anxiety and panic attack.  It was painful, I thought I was going crazy and humiliating because of all the attention that I had to have.  My job called EMT workers to come in, thankfully, I was able to be in a small conference room where the whole floor didn't have to see it, and my boss, let me go home, but still I was so embarrassed.

I had to take twice the dosage of Xanax to calm down and that left me so groggy and sleepy, I got home around 6:30p and slept until midnight, missing all that time with my family, not to mention, I don't get paid for that day off, I need every penny I can get to support my family because I'm the breadwinner, with my son having special needs my husband has a bachelor's degree in early childhood education, so we agreed that I would work and he would stay home and work with my little one.

I've been feeling so disconnected from everything lately.  It's like all the self-talk, yoga and meditation that I do to keep myself grounded hasn't been working.  My faith in God is rock strong right now, so I'm not scared, but I just can't get that true happiness feeling right now. 

I had to take down the items for sale on my website because with my company that I'm in a legal tangle with, I would have to get their permission to have anything on the side that would make me any extra money, and I don't really think that is going to happen.  Although, I should try, what's the worst they can say, no?  I worked so hard on that site to have it ready to open once I got the clearance from my employer, but I feel that that would just be a losing battle.  And I could really have used that extra money to pay for my son's therapy, not to mention getting my daughter glasses and braces.

Anyway, thank you for listening to me vent.  Today I promised myself that I'm going to take it one minute at a time and not project.  With God behind me no one can touch me.

Peace and Love to all of you CafeMom's out there and have a blissful day.

-Yvette