HE is a BIG FAT lemon, but gives good -ade..

[LUVMIBEBE07]

well it would be my 2 year anniversary;  that's if we were still toghether. Awhirl-wind romance, a wedding, a pregnancy announcemnet, a separtation. All in just 9 months!! I have a bit of resentment towards him with justifiable cause. He actually said to me more than once, that he wish he'd have been man enough to tell me he didn't want to marry me....well ass-face- you shouldn't have asked, or better yet, tell me that you were already married, marriage is a great prophylactic for marriage,rather than trying(and succeeding) to make me feel like maybe I inadvertently pushed the marriage. when I told him I was preggers, he congratulated me. woo-hoo, like I was so lucky to be pregnant by him. I ended up leaving after only 64 days, sounds like a rock star wedding huh? lol... I left with my daughter, boy in the belly and a few bags of clothes; and started all over again. Well I have been on my own since then, he doesn't pay child support, he pays lawyers to prevent paying child support.  well today is his b-day so I sent him the same thing he has sent me the last 2 birthdays, a text message. I feel like a real jerk hoping he has a crappy b-day, i mean he won't hes too selfish for that, he is have a good time with his other family, not a new family but with the first wife and her kids. there are actually times he'll forget about the baby and not count him and say I have 3 boys...NO you have 4, you just don't care. He has only one other biological son, but he loves the others, one more than the other, and everyone knows it. But I finally realized that it isn't hte kids it the moms, he loves the children based on his love for the mom,crazy and really fu**ed up but true. He wasn't a bit upset when I left but chased the other around town and cried and begged on his knees for her to come back. me, Nada! I remember thinking I didn't deserve him, ha! I didn't!!  My standard of living has went to crap, I am a single mom of 2 kids, having some health issues and trying to pull it all together. If only I could go back in time....I'd do it all again! I realized that without all his manipulation I would not have my son, and he his a BIG refreshing GLASS of super- sweet lemonade.  Two years ago today I thought it was my last night being a single woman; that I would forever go to bed next to the man of my dreams, the man that was sent to me from God, and tonight I am.

To my little man, you are our [sis & I] Superman!! Mommy loves you!

[Southerncharmes]

Aug. 8, 2008 at 10:53 PM

Lovely post......you are blessed by two wonderful children.