FINALLY life is good!

Well I am finally feeling better on a daily basis...I'm finally feeling like myself!  After all of the ECT and talking I've done, it's about damn time!!!  :)  Anyway, it doesn't look like I'll be going to school in the fall...I'm going to have to postpone it until January because I didn't apply for financial aid in time and thus, I do not have the money.  I applied for financial aid today and I am going to study for the placement test and take it as soon as possible.  I also have to start working on my application for the occupational therapy assistant program...some of the essay questions require a bit of research so I figure I should start working on them ASAP as well.  However, being the procrastinator I am, I'm having a bit of trouble doing so!  The priority consideration deadline is Jan. 14, 2009, but you can submit your application as early as Sept. 22, 2008 so I want to get it done as soon as I can.  (Boy, everything is ASAP here...lol...I better get on the ball!)  So....being a SAHM is going to end very soon...I HAVE to go back to work...I just can't make it on disability alone.  I want to get a job as a unit clerk at a hospital...but so far, I have been looking and just can't find anything.  Truly, an office job anywhere would be great!  I like doctor's offices ...the law firm was BORING!!! (No offense to all of you who work at law firms...it's just not my thing).  I don't think I should start looking until the last week in August because I can't start work until Alyssa goes back to school on Sept. 3rd.  Speaking of Alyssa, I felt so bad for her today!  Her guinea pig died this morning (thank God he was in the care of the pet store...we had taken him there after noticing that his eye was covered in this white mucus)...he had an upper respiratory infection and they gave him antibiotics, but obviously it was too little too late.  So we got a new guinea pig today...he's about 2 months old  and his name is Brownie...lol.  He's very cute; he's brown, black and white, but as I'm sure you can surmise, mostly brown.  I like him...he's vocal...like me!  lol...hmmm...what else is going on?  Things aren't great between my boyfriend and I right now...I feel like we are growing further and further apart...but I still can't make the break.  I just feel that our lives are so intertwined...I can't imagine what it's like when people separate or divorce after like 25 years (which is what my parents did 10 years ago...my dad was sooo hurt....)....John and I have only been together for 5 years, but it feels like 20.  I can predict what he's going to do next most of the time...and we finish each other's sentences a lot... we know each other very well.  I think I would grieve for a long time...not necessarily for the loss of the romantic relationship (God knows there isn't much of that anyway...lol) but mostly for the loss of our friendship.  He has a lot of good qualities....that's why I find him to be such a good friend.  My therapist however, seems to think he's emotionally abusive and I'm pretty sure he wishes I would end the relationship...he's probably sick of hearing me bitch anyway!!!  I know my mom doesn't like him and although my father is always polite to him, I don't think he cares for him much either.  I hope things get better...I want him to go to therapy, but of course, I can't make him change.  It's funny...sometimes I think he knows he needs help with his anger...but then other times, I KNOW he isn't acknowledging that he has a problem because he always laughs off my concerns.  Maybe the answer to this dilemma will come in my sleep...I don't know...it sure as hell ain't comin' when I'm awake!  lol...Alright, well I'm gonna go watch my movie...have a great week everyone and thanks for reading!

D