Why They Pressured Us to Surrender.

[Momzilla4]

.If any mother who has surrendered a baby to adoption wonders *why* anyone would coerce her to surrender her baby (besides the agency being paid lots of money from PAPs wanting her baby), this collection may provide some background.

(The first 5 quotes on this page are from the BSERI website . The other ones I collected from articles I reviewed for my masters thesis.)

"By the early 1940's, social workers became convinced that adoption was preferable to"keeping mother and child together" . . . Rejecting the idea that all women who had borne children were suitable mothers, social workers maintained that they must individualize each case . . . and decide which women should or should not put their infants up for adoption." AND SIN NO MORE: SOCIAL POLICY AND UNWED MOTHERS IN CLEVELAND 1855 TO 1990, Marian J. Morton, Historian, 1993

"When a worker can see that, had the unmarried mother wanted a baby for normal reasons, she would have fallen in love, married, and had a child under normal circumstances, the worker's problem begins to resolve itself..." OUT OF WEDLOCK, Leontine Young

The fact that social work professional attitudes tend to favor the relinquishment of the baby, as the literature shows, should be faced more clearly. Perhaps if it were recognized, workers would be in less conflict and would therefore feel less guilty about their "failures" (the kept cases)." - Social worker Barbara Hansen Costigan, in her dissertation, "The Unmarried Mother--Her Decision Regarding Adoption" (1964)

".... if an unmarried child gives birth to a baby, those circumstances alone ought to justify apprehension of the baby before the baby leaves the hospital unless the unmarried child mother can show that she has a viable plan for looking after and rearing her baby." - "Board Review" for the Child Welfare System (Canada, 1983)

"An agency has a responsibility of pointing out to the unmarried mother the extreme difficulty, if not the impossibility, if she remains unmarried, of raising her child successfully in our culture without damage to the child and to herself .... The concept that the unmarried mother and her child constitute a family is to me unsupportable. There is no family in any real sense of the word." Joseph H. Reid, Principles, Values, and Assumptions Underlying Adoption Practice, 1956 NAT'L CON. SOC. WORK.

"It is the intent of the current administration to promote adoption among adolescent mothers. This intent comes at a time when many adolescent mothers are choosing to raise their babies born out of wedlock, a trend that has increased during the last decade." (Resnick, 1984)

"It maybe that open adoption policies … can result in greater consideration of adoption by some adolescents who currently keep and raise their babies." (Kallen, Griffore, Popovich, & Powell, 1990)

"... it is important to continue to achieve higher adoption rates among teenage parents …" (Hanson, 1990, pp. 639-40)

"For many reasons, there is an urgency in convincing pregnant adolescents to place their babies for adoption." (Hanson, 1990, p. 640)

"By being able to point out strengths and weaknesses, and applying grounded intervention strategies, we may be able to effect higher adoption rates for adolescents who give birth" (Hanson, 1990, p. 641)

"The multifaceted problems associated with teenage pregnancy and parenting have become an agenda item for federal, state, and community action, resulting in a growing number of research and service initiatives …One recent federal strategy has been to advocate adoption as an alterative to either abortion or child rearing for young adolescents." (Resnick, Blum, Bose, Smith & Toogood, 1990)

"It is reasonable to expect that a number of the difficulties associated with adolescent childbearing would be ameliorated if a child were released for adoption." (Donnelly and Voydanoff, 1991, p. 414)

"The decision to release is one way of reducing the many social and economic problems associated with adolescent parenthood" (Donnelly and Voydanoff, 1991, p. 410)

"The Omnibus Budge Reconcilation Act (1981) and supporting research grants (Federal Register, 1982, 1983) have been directed toward furthering adoption as an alternative to abortion." - (Sobol & Daly, 1992)

"Both private organizations and the federal government have promoted adoption as an alternative to abortion. When an unwanted or mistimed pregnancy occurs, adoption may serve the interests of the child, the biological mother, and the adoptive family" (Bachrach, Stolley, & London, 1992, p. 27)

"There is a strong interest in programs that encourage adoption as a preferred resolution for both mother and infant. …Because placement for adoption is typically an unusual choice for a pregnant adolescent, the development of efficacious programs to promote the adoption choice necessarily depends on expanded knowledge of the predictors of placement and the processes involved in the decision to place or parent." (Dworkin, Harding & Schreiber, 1993, p. 76)

"… pregnant young women with no prior exposure may be less likely to choose adoption because they never consider the option for themselves, rather than because they consider and reject it based on their attitudes. This line of reasoning suggests that some form of adoption socialization may be necessary … Considering that most young women will not receive the prior personal exposure in their childhood families, a suitable alternative may be pregnancy-resolution counseling. Providing young women access to peers who have chosen adoption may be one way of achieving this goal." (Namerow, Kalmuss, Cushman, 1993)

"Our results indicate that it would be in the best interests of these women for pregnancy counsellors to fully and fairly discuss the adoption option."(Namerow, Kalmuss, & Cushman, 1997)

" … the results will assist helping professionals increase the frequency with which they encourage thoughtful consideration of adoption" [by unmarried pregnant adolescents] (Custer, 1993)

"... a fair consideration of adoption is often overlooked in pregnancy counselling" (Leon, 1999)

"Since adoption can solve both personal and societal problems, it is important to identify salient variables related to the perceptions of pregnant adolescents while in the process of deciding to keep or place their baby (Moore and Davidson, 2002, p. 29)

"… In promoting research-based, empirically-validated adoption education as a priority in the lives of young female and male adolescents, professionals have the potential to effect change in the social, economic, and intellectual fabric of our time. (Ibid, p. 39)

" Counselors must be trained to give women sound reasons that will counter the desire to keep their babies. One example is to reinforce the notion that it takes a strong, mature woman to place a child for adoption. Honestly addressing the issue of financial survival can be compelling as well. Counselors must communicate that adoption can be an heroic, responsible choice and that the child benefits tremendously ..." - From The Missing Piece: Adoption Counseling In Pregnancy Resource Centers by Curtis J. Young. Family Research Council (2000).

[AislinnAsparas]

Aug. 12, 2008 at 12:27 AM

I work in the child welfare system...not as a caseworker...but as an advocate for foster children and all children in palcement.  I see many sides to this story.  Obviously, if you were coerced into surrendering your child -- that is not okay.  There should be an advocate for the bio mom trying to educate and insure that the bio mom knows exactly what they are doing if they give up their child.  Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can ever really understand the impact of that decision. 

I have worked with several teen moms who have wanted to keep their children -- I can honestly tell you that I firmly believe in keeping the bio family in tact if at all possible -- however, the results are varied.  I have seen teen moms struggle with supporting their chidren while trying to achieve their education and receiving no support from their family.  I'm currently involved in a placement with a teen mom who is trying to keep her first child -- she is not even 18 --  and both she and her child are in a foster home -- and luckily a great one!  Now, we've learned that she is pregnant again. This is a very tough situation.  She has no skills, no education, no family to help and now 2 very young children to support...what is the solution. I really don't know.  As much as I love this young lady and her beautiful son, I question how she will support them and if it is in the best interest of the children.  Children are not objects or posessions...they are beings that need love, nurting, safety, and security.   Soon, this young lady will be leaving the foster care system -- what will become of them.  Oh, did I mention the abusive boyfriend...yep...he's in the picture too although he isn't suppose to be due to a restraining order -- but once she is emancipated -- who knows what might happen to all fo them.  So, coercion is not the answer.  And at least this state works very hard to keep bio families together if possible -- but in some cases -- I do wonder if it is the best decision for the kiddos.  Who will pay for them, their food, their home, their security and safety...just some thoughts...no opinion as I really don't have the answer...

Bless you and congrats on your reunification.  How wonderful that you were able to renew that relationship. 

[Momzilla4]

Aug. 12, 2008 at 2:00 AM

AislinnAsparas, i think it is horrible, what is being done to these mothers.   I think that many of the challenges that teen mothers face are systemic and preventable.  For example: in nations were mothers are given adequate non-poverty-level social assistance (the Domestic Purposes Benefit of NZ comes to mind), plus housing, universal medical care, and ready access to childcare once they begin work (which in NZ need not happen until their children are in school as all babies and toddlers deserve a stay-at-home mom), young moms face far fewer pressures to surrender their babies.  But here in North America, we withhold support from them -- and in contrast millions each years are handed out to large corporations ("corporate welfare").   So we reward rich white old men and punish young mothers.  :(

Also, shouldn't schools and colleges have daycares to enable moms to get an education and even parenting classes for them? and scholarship plans for single moms?  That again is available in all nations.  I'm a policy analyst by trade, and i have seen how other nations support young moms and contrast it with how we don't (did you know that minimum wage in Australia is about $14/hr?).  Instead, when welfare reform was introduced in the mid-1990s we had federal politicians talking about how the children of single moms should go into orphanages. :(  Plus it violates their basic human rights:    " Article 25.      (1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.       (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection."  We have to speak up against this form of "systemic violence" (as Ellison calls is) against young moms.

it is truly sad how government is forcing families apart, denying resources to mothers and meanwhile pumping millions into adoption agencies and "adoption awareness programs" (funded under the Infant Adoption Awareness ACt) to get more moms to surrender.

 You may be interested in this post, about a report on teen moms. I have a number of other articles confirming the same finding:  teen motherhood can be a positive developmental event:  http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1056782/teen_pregnancy_and_young_motherhood_a_positive_report

(Original Poster)

[AislinnAsparas]

Aug. 12, 2008 at 8:34 AM

I'm not in disagreement with our cause -- I am just not seeing a "blanketed" approach.  And, the vast majority of adoption agencies here are not placing children of teen mothers...but children of "mothers" that have either lost their children due to abuse and neglect or have given them up due to abuse and neglect. 

I just think the systemic problem is so much bigger -- with regarding to basic human rights, this country (and most) are quite amiss at taking care of their own.  Do you have any idea of the poverty rate in this country...in you own back yad...its quite alarming.  Health care for all -- that's a joke.  And what happens to the elderly -- again -- this country is pitiful.

I'm actually meeting with some state representatives today for a meeting on the Heart Gallery -- have you heard of that?  I'm going to pose a question to them about teens having children and terming their rights -- I want to get their take on the State of Colorado here...I'll get back to you...I'm hoping the folks from one of the main adoption agencies is here as well -- they are a non profit 501 c 3 group trying to place children who come to them through the social services/human services sector -- in other words, children who were foster children and rights were termed by the parents...but they will have a better understanding of this issue.

 

[AislinnAsparas]

Aug. 12, 2008 at 8:34 AM

I meant "your" cause - sorry -- need coffee!

[Momzilla4]

Aug. 12, 2008 at 12:57 PM

My original journal post actually had nothing to do with mothers who lose children due to abuse and neglec, thru the child protection system, about about mothers who are pressured to surrender their babies when they would have been fit parents or been able to keep them given the support they deserved.  i think the child protection system is a very different subject.   The writers of these quotes often made the blanket assumption that being a young mother was a bad thing, without taking a careful look at their assumptions to see if this basic assumption is correct.  The rate of teen pregnancy is no higher than it was 100 years ago.  What is different is the stigma surrounding it.

(Original Poster)