F'ing annoyed

[Kelda]

This is the 2nd day Dh has acted like I'm insane for feeling something. Yesterday, I was tired... very tired. I worked the day before, came home, cooked, cleaned, went for groceries. My job is very physical and I worked a longer shift than I'm used to. I haven't been sleeping well either. And at about 3pm, I'm just ready for a nap, which can't happen when I work at 4pm.

Well, I made the mistake of saying "It's nap-time". Granted, Dh took a nap earlier. I didn't mind. But he re-acted to my statement like it was proposterious. I defend my tiredness. He still acts like I'm crazy. He had a nap, but it didn;t count cause it wasn't restful. I said, that's not my problem because that's exactly how he reacted to me.

I told him I was tired, I work hard at home and at work. yadda yadda. He says I don't appreciate how hard he works. Bull Crap. I never ask him to do anything, unless my feet feel like they are going to explode if I walk on them. Or if I'm tired. We do for each other, I thought...

So today I said I had to work on Ds's first day of school. I was hoping to be able put him to bed, to spend more than an hour with him after school, to make him dinner. All that mom kinda stuff... Well, apparently that's silly for me to want. Silly. I let it go. 

People have done this too me all my life- told me I'm silly for feeling the way I do. Well, let me snap my fingers and not feel it anymore because someone tells me its crazy. I wish I didn't have to feel tired. I wish I didn't want to be home with my kid his first day of school...

argh.

I can't stand that Dh has taken this stance that everyone else takes with me. I officially have no one to comfort me, no one to freaking tell me it will be okay. No one to talk to because everyone is too busy telling me I'm silly and stupid and that my feelings don't count. No one wants to hear anything from me, just want me to listen and be their comfort... I don't have bad anything. I must be sunshine on freaking demand when they need it. I'm not allowed to feel, only be.

People love me until I need to talk about me.  

[QuietDepression]

Aug. 16, 2008 at 5:54 PM

Its like they want us to be super-freaks or something, huh? Like cooking, cleaning, working, nuturing, and solving the world's woes arent enough...we have to do so with a f*ckin smile and without any censure at all...

Talk to me all you want!!! Im here girl!! You are NOT silly, stupid, or required to be Mary F*ckin Sunshine!!! You are a human and a mom to boot so you have all of the right in the world to get swamped with stress and to just throw your hands up and say "Eff YOU!!!"

Im sorry Dh is being a f*cktard...mine is too if it makes you feel any better and no one appreciates me except my sister and my ex-boyfriend which is weird as shit if you think about it!

HUGE ASS HUGS and a piece of homemade chocolate cake!

<3

[LaniGirl72]

Aug. 18, 2008 at 4:29 AM

Sweetie I'm sorry! I wish I could give you some comfort, but the only thing I can tell you is that people are selfish! They just don't realize it! I wish I could say or do more. Take care(=