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Hurricane Preparedness
- Aug 18, 2008 at 6:56 PM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (269) Everyone can see this journal post.
We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological hints:
(1) There is no need to panic
(2) We could all be killed
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Alabama/Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one". Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
Step 1. - Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for
at least three days
Step 2 - Put these supplies into your car
Step 3 - Drive to Ohio and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this
sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Alabama/Florida.
We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE
If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately,
this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets
two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Ohio
Unfortunately, if your home is located in Alabama or Florida, or another area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
EVACUATION ROUTE
If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route
planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look
at your driver's license; if it says "Alabama" or "Florida" you live in a low-lying area).
HURRICANE SUPPLIES
If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy
them now! Alabama and Florida tradition requires that you wait until
the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.
In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when
the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for...NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some)
A 55 gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in
a hurricane, but it looks cool).
A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through a hurricane; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators).
$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws
near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation
by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain
slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck, and remember: it's great living in Paradise.
Comments:
wow! Hope you make it through okay.....I got a giggle from this. My Uncle lives in Florida and a few years back when they went through bad...he sent me a letter saying that they were moving and I scrolled down and it showed the state of Florida where Nebraska USED to be.
Please be safe and let me know how you make out.
Janet
Hehehe, I remember living in Florida. Have you ever had to eat MREs?
Good luck girl! My thought will be with your family.
Hope you have this
....and not this....
Hehehe, I remember living in Florida. Have you ever had to eat MREs? bluiidmommy
Just to let you know, our generator is hooked up so that it will run most of the house....mainly the important things like the refrigerator, AC and a couple TVs (the grill has a full propane tank and I can cook just about anything on it....during the 04 season I discovered that I can even do pancakes on the grill....so if things get nasty you and yours can come up here and hang until things settle down....not that I think it's going to be much more than a glorified thunderstorm, but who am I to predict the weather??? I had to run to Home-Depot today, big mistake, there were people running around getting cases of water, tons of batteries and tarps... I even heard one man ask "why do we need a tarp" and his wife answered " I don't know but the list says we need one" referring to the hurricane guide....good grief! RArnold18
Thank you Rose. We have a huge generator too. With DH's heart problem he can not deal with humidity well so after the 2004 season we bought a generator. It is hooked in 24/7 & can run the A/C & the kitchen at the same time (just uses mucho gas).
I LOL at the woman with the checklist. Our supplies have been stocked since May, I just ran out for things that I was low on that I wouldn't want to be with out if the stores were closed for a few days. Fresh veggies for the rabbit, cat litter, bread. But Walmart was packed with people with shopping carts piled to over flowing with water, cases of soda, chips...there was even one with several boxes of nutrition bars.
Stay safe if it does come...if not it was good practice. Plus, Erik got half a day off & Logan went to his 1st day of school, got out of band practice & doesn't have school tomorrow.
I'll be thinking about you. Keep us posted so we don't worry!
haha! good to know you still have a sense of humor after all these years. What are MREs?
An MRE is a Meal Ready to Eat...it's what our soldiers eat when on the move.
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hope your not affected by the storms.
- tellmenolies
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