I'm Way to Smart to just be a SAHM!!
- August 19, 2008 at 3:11 PM by DevineMommie
- 14 Comment(s)
- 229 Total Views
I was talking to my mother and apparently my decision to stop working and be a Sahm seems rather stupid to my family. In a casual conversation with my loving mother she proceeded to tell me, after a quick chat about my garden and my kids, all the boring sahm stuff, she says "I always thought you would do more than just be a mom." That she was really surprised that I'm still doing this because I am way to smart to just be a SAHM.
Dumbfounded and confused, I got off the phone with my mom and called my older sister looking for comfort but instead I found out that the consensus in my family is that the life I am choosing to live, is not the life they saw me leading. That I have somehow disappointed them because I'm way to smart to be doing nothing with my life???
While I am flattered that they think I have so many capabilities my feelings are also hurt. I consider this to be the best decision I've made. I worked for the first half of my marriage because I truly had too. I was motivated to succeed because I needed a bigger paycheck. I consider myself intelligent but I didn't do anything that others couldn't. I wasn't in the midst of some promising cure for cancer or aids, I went from managing restaurants, to being a chef, then opening them for a local franchise. I loved what I was doing and to some it seems insane but I loved it and it paid the bills. In hinsight even that wasn't living up to my potential because they would constantly remind me that I could be getting my law degree.
A couple years ago I had the opportunity to "just be a mom" and I seized it. I see more value and success in raising four children then bowing to societies definition of success by making lots of money.
After all I have the rest of my long life to make money, I'm only 29 for heavens sake! I have one opportunity to raise my children and teach them the most important things are not how much money you have coming in and what possessions you have in this world. True success is what add to the world. They will know that success is not money, the position you hold, or how many people know your name. Success is having the courage and ability to make wise decisions based on integrity and the ability to look yourself in the eye and be accountable for the results.
No amount of money or a fancy title can give you that! But motherhood can!
Tags: stay at home moms, kids, family, siblings, sahm, work, value, success, money, motherhood
- Written by DevineMommie on August 19, 2008 at 3:11 PM
- 229 total views
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Comments:
I'm sorry that you aren't able to find the support you want from your family. Someone in your other post said it best when she said you won't be able to please everybody. I'm glad that you have enough confidence in your decision to keep doing what you know is right. You are raising our future generation, isn't that enough?!?
I was really close with one of my teachers in high school. I stopped by and told her I was having a baby after I got pregnant, and she shook her head and said "such a waste of an amazing brain..." I was like WTH?! But she always unintentionally says things that sound bad. She has foot in mouth syndrome I think.
I know that my whole family feels the dame way as yours. They keep asking when I'm going back to school, or what kind of work I want to do, or they will send me job listings and say "keep working on your education!" I haven't told them yet that I'm not going back to school anytime soon...
Staying home and raising your own children is the best, most wonderful, most rewarding job there is. Anyone who says different is stupid, jealous, or both.
I agree, zmom!
Being a full time wife and mom IS the most wonderful and important job!
I'm sorry that your family made you feel like CRAP! I mean, I know how you feel. It's not my family, although my parents do keep telling me I should go back so school while I'm at SAHM but I cannot focus on school work with them at home with me all day anyway! But it's not them that's really been bothering me as much as those I was once upon a time really close to. I got into myspace a few months back because I felt kind of lonely here, not really knowing anyone and all, and I got in touch with a lot of ex coworker and ex school mates from back in the day... well, needless to say... quite a few of them are SHOCKED that I have so many kids (hey, so am I!) but even more shocked that I haven't been at work for over 5 yrs! Now that I got a part time job again, there are some people in my class that are shocked and call me a "princess" cuz I did not work for so long. I know they do it in a joking matter, but still... I'm starting to wonder if that's what the others on my myspace that I was once very close to and considered to be really good friends with... "is that what they think???" That I have a "sugar daddy"??? I just can't believe how some people think... and YES... it really hurts!
You are investing in the future of your children. What better use for your talents then nurturing our future? I am proud of my descision to stay at home, my son is the most precious thing in my life. Don't let them get you down, you are putting your life to good use.
I think you are very smart for being a SAHM and no matter what your family thinks you should be doing, always listen to your heart. I understand how you are feeling. My family tells me the same thing or I always hear "There's no way you can be supporting 5 people on one income." Oh yeah, watch us! Being a SAHM is very rewarding and our kids will only be kids for a short while. We can always focus more on a future career or schooling opportunities once the kids grow up, but right now my "job" is Mom.
One thing I can't seem to get my mom to stop doing is calling me whenever there is a job opportunity in town. She has even called businesses herself and set me up telephone interviews for me without my consent. We live in a small town where everyone knows us so it is amazing what happens. My comeback to her is asking if she is going to pay daycare for 3 children while I go to work. Doesn't anyone understand that by the time we pay daycare, gas and lunch expenses, we are not making a penny, plus we are paying someone else to raise our children?!
Oh, and we are planning to try and have another baby in 2010 so I will be a SAHM even longer than originally planned and it is driving my family crazy. LOL! To each their own!
So, in order to be a SAHM you have to be stupid? hmmm. I mean, yeah, ok... It doesn't require a college degree but still. People are just insensitive.
The funny thing is that you had chosen a different route they probably would have been just as critical. Sometimes families are like that. What is important is that you are parenting they way you think is best for your family, your happy and your family is happy and that is what matters.
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I'm sorry they made you feel that way. You are right there is a very small window that your kids are young. Being a mother is the most important job of all. Your kids know that they are important enough for you to stay home. That they are loved, You can be involved in their activities, and be a part of them growing and one day you will sit back and trust me you will NEVER regret staying home. You may however have regrets of not being there enough if you did have a career. Embrace your choice, calling and blessing!!!!
momnlovinit Aug. 19, 2008 at 3:21 PM