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ungreatfull, disrespectful & encouraged to be like that
- Aug 19, 2008 at 4:08 PM
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- Comments (6) Total Views (92) Everyone can see this journal post.
Just as predicted hubby's youngest son called yesterday, a week before school starts and here we are he needs school supplies and clothes...
This is from the child that sent hubby a letter two months ago "expressing his feelings" . To make things even worst the mom encourage him to write this letter, gave him the stamp to mail it out read it and didn't once said hey this is not right!! Yes she did read it, she knew exactly what was being said. This letter was far from expressing feelings, it was mean, disrespectful, and just plain hurtful to read for DH. This was a two page letter mailed to hubby sounding more like a rant, telling my husband what a "dead beat father" he thinks he is. He went on to talk about me, DH's mother (my MIL, this boys grandmother!! ), his older brother which chose to stay w/us, even our little Sofia. He bad mouthed every single one of us!! That obviously sent me over the edge and caused all this unnecessary chaos. All because he felt he was not getting what he deserved, he felt that his father was playing favoritism to his older brother. This post can go on for ever, there are countless things and stories I can tell and recall about this child's behavior. Let me tell you he got a whole lot more than he deserved when he lived with us. DH was always fair with both boys and he has never favored one over the other.
My husband has always looked out for both his son's financialy & emotionaly. When I married him I knew that these children were a part of his life and would always be. I understood that then and I understand it now. I was/am completely ok with it. However I hate the fact that he lets his son (14 yrs old) and the kids mom walk all over him!! I don't understand it. I know he does it to avoid confrontations between him and the boy's mom but when do you say ENOUGH ??!! I have tried repeatedly to get my husband to see what I see and he tells me he understands but he doesn't act on it! I've completely taken myself out of the equation, even though I never really was a part of it, nor have I ever wanted to be.This is why the whole letter incident makes me even more mad. I was nothing but nice to this child, even when he didn't deserve it.
What burns me the most is that he never apologized to DH. The way I look at it he didn't have to apologize to me cause I don't have to deal with him. Sadly I decided I wanted nothing to do with him after that whole incident. But DH obviously doesn't have that option. This child had the nerve to tell DH he didn't want him in his life and he was no longer a father to him. He had the nerve to say he wanted nothing to do with the people under his household. So why are you calling to ask for stuff you need??? I guess he forgot that his mother refuses to buy him anything because she feels like it's only DH responsibility. But if you feel that way why would you allow your son to disrespect his father like that?? why would you encourage it ?? Hubbby would have never let either one of his sons do that to her no matter how upset they were with her. I so want to say something to this woman but I'm sure that she is itching to see a reaction from me. Which she is definitely not going to get.
Comments:
Your husband needs to call his son, pick him up, and they need to go 'Talk' to each other 'Alone'......... seriously............. ---- (After they've talked, maybe him and his dad.. can go get the things he needs).... -- He's hurting for some one on one........ they need to talk it out........ -- (Sure the ex-wife, is a bitch... but that doesn't take away the Anxiety the kids will have........ worrying about having what he needs for school or showing up without having the Stuff......... These Teachers these Days/Principals are STRICT.... They will Virtually Abuse the Kid if he doesn't have what he needs......... - No Kid Deserve's that No Matter How MissGuided........... -- I hope you'll pass this on to your husband and He'll do What a Man should Do... and Talk to his Son.... -- Deep down the kids Hurting.
I've got the ducktape!!!!
Sorry this is having to resurface, hon. You've done such an amazing job staying out of this! Keep your head up and keeping pushing through. Hopefully your DH will have the chance to make an impression on him soon. I definitely would suggest them going together to shop, if he gets him his supplies. They probably need to time to talk.
~C
Whether the kid is an "angel" or "spawn of satan" his dad should still be responsible for part of his support.
Sorry about all of this..that has to be ROUGH! I'm glad you're being the bigger person though, that surely takes a LOT to do, but in the end it will be worth it and you'll retain your hubby's respect for being so good about all this!
Kids are still kids... if he is being influenced by his mother, shame on her but you can't blame the boy. As for you, wanting nothing to with him? He is the child and you are the adult. As frustrating as it is, this is still your husband's son, your step-son. You should no/realize he most likely has a influence of his mother and so you should brush it off, as hard as it is.
Good luck! Hopefully it gets better.
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GURRLLLL...... how bout you me and couple others...some duct tape..rope..socks full of nickles...and her in a dark alley???..............sometime people are complete asshats!!!
As for dh's son...yeah he should just tell himm...you know wha tkid i love you..but i am NOT going to help you... since your mom is SO great and i am the ass...get her to buy what you need.....the bank of dad is C-L-O-S-E-D!!!!!!
- txsDva
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