A New Twist To My Needing To Go Back To My Kids(SOME CUSSING!!)Sorry a little long

[SYSTERANGEL2]

I CALLED MY MIL'S HOUSE YESTERDAY.  THE DAY THAT TAKCODA TURNED 6.  MY STBX TOLD ME THAT HIS SISTER IS IN DISCUSSIONS WITH HIS MOM ON FORMALLY ADOPTING OUR KIDS.  HE IS THERE FATHER, HES BEEN TAKING CARE OF THEM SINCE THEY CAME BACK TO FLORDIA IN JUNE.  HIS MOM IS TELLING HIM THAT I CAN'T JUMP AT HER.  YET, HIS MOM CAN BE ABLE TO JUMP AT ME ANYTIME SHE WANTS TOO.  I CAN'T THINK THAT I CAN BEAR MY SIL ADOPTING MY KIDS, HOWEER I DON'T THINK THAT I'M MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH YET TO BE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE AS MY MIL.  HE DOESN'T GET A BREAK ANYMORE.  HE FEELS TRAPPED IN THE HOUSE. I STARTED TO GET ANGRY AT ALL HIS I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THAT. THATS WHAT MY LIFE WAS LIKE TOO WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH HIS MOM.  HE IS THE ONE WHO WORKS I'M THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF THE KIDS.  IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT I NEED A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF CALORIES IN ORDER TO CHASE AFTER MY THREE KIDS, IF SHE CATCHES ME EATING SHE GETS PISSED, I HAVE A VERY HIGH METABOLISM. SO EVERYTIME I USE UP MY CALORIES THAT I CONSUME I NEED TO EAT A LITTLE MORE SO THAT WAY I CAN HAVE THE ENERGY.  I'M EATING HER OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME.  I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HEAR THAT PHRASE A WEEK.  IF HIS MOM STARTS TO ATTACK ME VERBALLY I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DEFEND MYSELF BECAUSE ITS HER HOUSE HER RULES.  YET ACCORDING TO MY STBX SHE WANTS ME TO COME HOME SO THAT WAY I CAN PROVE TO HER THAT I'VE CHANGED.  I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE THE CHARACTER ASSAINATION FOR VERY LONG AND HE'S NOT SURE HOW LONG IT WILL BE UNTIL HE CAN MOVE US OUT OF HER HOUSE.  I TRIED TO DEFEND MYSELF TO HIM LAST NIGHT AND HE TELLS ME TO "JUST FUCK IT THEN, LET MY SISTER ADOPT THEM, SO THAT WAY YOU CAN KEEP GETTING EVERYTHING HANDED TO YOU ON A SILVER FUCKING PLATTER!!!"   I'M SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT THE LACK OF FAMILY SUPPORT THAT I HAVE IN FLORDIA.  I'VE A HUGE FAMILY SUPPORT HERE IN ARIZONA.  MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN FL WHO "SUPPORT" ME WILL GO BACK AND TELL HIS MOM WHAT I'VE SAID TO THEM IN PRIVATE.   HERE I'VE GOT MY COUSINS, AUNT, MOM AND GRANDFATHER, PLUS ALL OF MY FRIENDS.  HE THINKS THAT I JUST ASK FOR MONEY AND ITS GIVEN TO ME.  HES ANGRY WITH ME STILL FOR BUYING MYSELF A SANSA MP3 PLAYER.  HE ALWAYS SAID HED GET ME ONE WHEN HE HAD THE MONEY AND HES MAD AT ME BECAUSE I BROUGHT ONE FOR MYSELF. 

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I'M IN GODS HANDS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I LOVE MY KIDS AND THEY LOVE ME.