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Thoughts on inclusion, acceptance, understanding, tolerance, friendship.... social responsibility.
- Aug 23, 2008 at 11:05 AM
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- Comments (17) Total Views (2964) Everyone can see this journal post.
If you want to be included - be tolerant, accepting and understanding of others. You don't need 'experience' to understand feelings.
If you want to be accepted - include others. Accept others - even if they or their experiences are different from yours. there is a great value in learning from others.
If you want to be understood - offer understanding. Make an effort. Learn. Be educated. Take a moment to think that you might not always be 'right', and someone else might just have the experience to back up what they are saying.
If you chose to have a different view, and want to be listened to, understood - tolerated? Good for you! But - know that if you do not offer tolerance, to all? You will NOT recieve tolerance.
As for friendship.... friends are 'friends' through thick and thin - they provide tolerance, understanding, acceptance, inclusion.... all of that and more. They are the shoulder to cry on, the 'ear' when you need to talk. But, a friend will also tell you the hard truths that you may not always want to hear. Friends do that for one another.
Social responsibility is the 'greater friendship' that we ALL need to extend. Yes - other's lives SHOULD impact our interactions, our social awareness. Yes - other's EXPERIENCES should color our own lives. Yes - other's STRUGGLES should change how we interact with EVERYONE.
And, if you read that and say, "Well, I do what I can - I help the homeless, I volunteer at the library," - that's great. Extend that same consideration and sense of 'voluteerism' to your neighbor who can't shovel their sidewalk in winter; your co-worker, who has a sick parent; the mom at church who could use some help with the groceries; the widow who can't take care of her yard, because she's consumed with just getting out of bed; your child's classmate, who is reading disabled and has parents who are trying to 'fit in'.
Now, you look at that list and say, "I can't do ALL THAT!" Maybe. Maybe not. What you CAN do is include them in your circle of friends .Accept that their lives are different from yours, and be thankful that they are a part of it. Understand their feelings - even if your experiences are different from theirs. Respect their differences - understanding that not everyone fits the same 'mold', but that you CAN learn something from everyone. Extend friendship to anyone, regardless of what you might think their experiences are. Be kind. Act. Do. Something. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself: "What would I need?"
And please - be socially aware. It won't kill you, I promise.
Comments:
Saw your name when your post went up - and remembered you from a recent post. I love this - I guess it's just nearly impossible for some to see that these things apply to ALL. And that's pretty sad.
Great post! Thanks!
In my life we deal with it ALL. Comforting friends when their husbands don't come home, 15 months without our own husbands, sitting on the phone for hours at a time because they can't handle it.... we aren't "tolerant", Tolerance smacks us in the face like a frozen fish.
What I wouldn't give for just 15 months without my husband ... just 15 months. And yeah, that's gotta be hard.
But really? When are the standards of decency going to be applied to everyone? Right now, they're not , you know. Certain groups are just consistently left out of that circle.
Treatment of widows in today's society is positively shameful. And social awareness should extend to us as well.
Missingruth - you are right: the standards of decency - the very most basic of social interactions - are sorely missing in some groups. I just couldn't tolerate the indecency of it anymore.
EVERYONE has value and needs to be included. Widows are one of the groups that become 'invisible'. For that - I apologize.... and hope that others can become a little more 'enlightened', as well, to the fact that you can't get what you don't give.
Too many pitiful jackasses in today's society believe they are entitled to "social awareness" and still not obligated to give it.
Which explains why when it's a "popular" issue, or an issue with strength in numbers, eventually social awareness occurs.
For things like widowhood? The ignorant won't give a damn until it happens to them.
And yes, I agree ... if you don't offer tolerance, respect, and acceptance? Not only will you not get it in return - You don't deserve it.
Thanks for sharing this 'momo' ... where was this posting last night when it was needed at Newcomers for the 'fat..is this a bad word now?!" posting and replies???... wow... it got so ugly, I'm shocked that CafeMom lets some replies go without suspending the members privilege of sharing here. Guess there's camps within camps here, but I become shocked and hurt for others especially when I see unbridled callousness rear it's ugly head. Please post this in other groups....it's pure genius. Social responsibility, what a concept !
Yes, the standards of decency need to be equally applied. I don't think I ever even realized that certain groups such as widows are left out of this ... but now that I think about it, they are. And I feel horrible, because I never realized that I was one of those people who wasn't applying those standards of decency the way they should have been. But I was. And now, I'll correct that. Thanks for helping to raise social awareness.
I grew up in the Marine corps so when I hear "Widows are invisible" I am really in shock. I never knew people treat them like such. We use to do a lot of things for military widows when I was growing up. I still to this day try my best to be the best human being I can. I accept all religions, races, and more. When 9/11 happened I met this nice muslim girl who was being bullied become obviously she was the reason for the whole thing. But I stood up beside her and told them if they mess with her they mess with me.
I know people do not agree with my religious choices and I really don't care but I am not going to turn around and hand out the same slap they gave me. An eye for an eye leaves one blind.
What I wouldn't give for just 15 months without my husband ... just 15 months.
I know that, and I'm sorry. That's why people who know me like Kate and Penny know I NEVER complain about it. 15 months does suck.... but it's a very small amount of time compared to others.
Kate and Penny, thanks for "educating" us :)
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This Pennsylvania mom of three is a big fan of the band The Cranberries, loves to eat seafood and enjoys spending time with her family at Knoebel's amusement park.
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