I am not a person who takes well to caffeine; and tonight, of all things, a dose of midol has me up three hours after I tried to go to bed. I am also not a brave person...I really do care far to much what other people think of me. But tonight, I am going to say what I want without fear.

For the past three hours I have been lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Tonight I tried passing the time thinking about Georgia. (Right now we are at a temporary station-four months-so all we have is what we could bring in a car and what we could buy at walmart and goodwill.) We have more than enough, but I'll be honest, I miss my stuff and I have a list of new stuff I really want but can't have until Georgia. Anyways, here I am with a rather long list of things I want when I realize how incredibly greedy I'm sounding. So I start to think about what I really want most in life. Right now, if God told me He would give me anything I asked for, what would it be? Instantly I know that I want a spot in heaven secured for my little boy. Joel and I are trying hard to teach Sam about God, but I am so so afraid of messing this up.

I am a Christian, and I believe that there is a heaven and a hell. I also believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to get to heaven. I believe this, but it is hard at times. There are people I love dearly that I know would go to hell if they died. This hurts more than I can say, but it is the truth. I became a Christian when I was five, and I am twenty-three now. That's eighteen years. Eighteen years and I have never led anyone to Christ. I've started to try, but I think fear has always gotten in the way...that same fear of what people will think.

But tonight, thinking about precious Sam's salvation, I realize that he is not the only one that deserves to be taught and told the truth.

 So this is my beginning. I don't know what is next, but there will be one.

If you got this far, thank you for reading this to the end. I hope you have a wonderful day! : )

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Sep. 16, 2009 at 10:18 PM

I really do understand where you are coming from. I know that I am writing a comment on this way way after you wrote this, but I am where you were. I want to testify and witness but not sure how, all of the people that are my friends and family know what I think and know but what about others? The way of the master has lessons on how to testify to others I have thought about looking that up, have you discovered how to do this yet?


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Feb. 8, 2010 at 1:50 PM

Hey that is great that you feel strongly about your faith. keep in mind Timothy's mom and grandmother help lead him to Christ!!

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