It was a sad realization when my first marriage ended that I had completely lost myself. Actually I had never found out who I was or who I wanted to be. I could not tell you what my favorite color was, my favorite food, nothing....

I could however tell you his. I could tell you everything about him. My life was all about his wants, his needs, his desires, his dreams, his career, his goals, HIS happiness. When we separated, after the shock and the sobs subsided, I took the time to begin exploring who I was and who I wanted to become. I began having a love affair with myself. I began putting myself first. I began to find out the answers to such simple questions as "What's your favorite color?". I chose the kind of laundry detergent I liked. I folded the towels the way I wanted to! I began to think about what I wanted in this life, and then began to take steps (at first merely baby steps, but steps nonetheless!) to make it my reality.

All of these things sound so simple, yet they represented huge issues I was determined to overcome!

I am still in recovery from The People Pleasing Syndrome. Over the years I have learned so much about myself and life. Each day is a journey, and the learning process will take a lifetime. I understand that. I am enjoying the process. Sure I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back at times. Instead of feeling like a failure, I pick myself up, brush myself off try and try again.

Do you know the answer to the simple question, "What's your favorite color?", or have you, too, lost yourself in caring for and pleasing everyone in your life for love and approval?

The first step is really learning to accept yourself, faults and all. Realize that you are good enough and worthy of love, without jumping through hoops and losing yourself in the process. The truth is, when you lose yourself, continue the people pleasing syndrome, and try to be someone you are not, no one benefits and it does more harm than good. Trust me, I know, been there done that.

By the way, my favorite color is azure.

~Jenn

http;//www.MomsUnitedInBusiness.com

Tags: divorce, self esteem, motivation, inspiration

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