Aggravation

[Shmop]

I thought I had this under control.  I thought I was keeping myself busy and that I was going to be ok.  Now I'm not so sure.

I am a person who has to have something to do pretty much all day every day.  When I was working I was at work from 6 AM until 7:30 or 8 PM.  I would do everything rather than delegate because it kept me busy and I knew it was getting done the way I wanted it done. 

Then Meghan was born and finances dictated that I become a stay home mom.  So I dedicated the first 6 months to catching up on the housework and really getting our home unpacked and organized and cleaned.  I established routines for the kids and myself and dedicated myself to being Super Mom!

And then there was nothing left to do.  And I started to spiral into fits of moodiness and frustration.

Then I got a new neighbor and I had someone to socialize with and I had something new.  I took on gardening this spring and rebuilt our backyard.  And things were good again because I had something to do. 

Then she left and I managed to make it through the rest of the summer.  I bult a group here on CM and dedicated to growing it and coaching and encouraging the members.  I got Mo started with school and settled into a new routine again.

And now I'm stuck again.  I wanted to start painting various rooms in the house and doing some minor home improvements.  Hubby says no.  We can't paint the playroom because the kids aren't out of their color on the walls stage and he wants to replace the carpet when we paint because nothing will go with emerald green carpet. (His opinion - not mine)  I wanted to get the girls room ready and do the room switch so that the girls were in one room and Tuck was in his own room.  No can't do that because we don't have the finances for the girls' new furniture.  I wanted to paint our bathroom and get a new bathroom set.  No, can't do that....just because now he seems to be dead set on making me go over the edge.  Honestly!  He didn't have a reason why I couldn't redo the bathroom - he just didn't want me to do it. 

I could do some sewing but I don't want something that I will be sitting for.  I could go workout and that will probably end up being my outlet but I can only do that when the wiggle weights are other wise occupied. 

I guess I'm just aggravated because I want to do so much and I just can't get anything started.  And it's crazy.  When I can't do the big projects that I want to do, I have no drive to do the little stuff that I know I should be doing like mopping the kitchen floor for the 900th time this month.

So instead I come here and I whine about having nothing to do.  I'm pretty sure if this isn't the definition of a workaholic it's pretty darn close!

[sunshine5705]

Aug. 27, 2008 at 11:39 AM

I feel ya... I cant do anything I want to do around the house either. I am so much more motivated when I have  a million things to do and litte time. Yesterday and today have been rough with the two older ones gone and most of my day quite till 2 I can't seem to keep myself busy enough. I have cleaned, and done laundry and cleaned again..but theres nothing left.. HELP!!!

[Silvertears1275]

Aug. 27, 2008 at 12:19 PM

I don't envy you.  As much as I think sometimes it would be great to quit my job and stay home all day, I think I would go absolutely insane trying to keep busy.  Especially since lately I'm an all or nothing kind of person.  If I can't get everything done I just don't want to do anything.

[MSugarKane]

Aug. 27, 2008 at 7:22 PM

Your journal post is something I would have written. I feel the same so much of the time. Its frustrating but then I think if that all there is to complain about my life, I do have it pretty good. I am just bored.