A little bit of venting!!

[DrgnMOMMY]

I haven't written on here yet so I thought it was time to unleash a little. I copied this from my MySpace blog so please forgive me if I didn't edit all the cusing out of it!! We have been going through a lot of rough stuff. I didn't think one person could have so much crap happen to them in such a short amount of time. I've always tried to do as my dad says though and look at the glass as "half full" instead of the other way around. That's kinda hard these days but, yeah, I'm still trying. Most of you know I nearly keeled over back in February when my gallbladder decided to take a crap on me and tried to take my liver and pancreas along too. Well being fairly new at my job that I really did love so much, I didn't have tons of sick time, therefore only getting paid for part of the time I was out. So obviously, me being a single mom with a handful of kids, that set me back financially even more than I already was. Of course, I got behind on bills. I had to start letting things go. For example, do I pay car insurance or do I feed my kids??? Hmm...it doesn't take a genius to know what a mother is gonna choose. I got behind on everything...including rent. I was struggling but I was determined I was gonna make it. I mean doesn't everyone say "it gets harder before it gets better"?? (Right now that is seeming like a big load of horse poop). I tried to work as much overtime as possible which was really taking a toll on me physically. I felt like I NEVER got sleep and I was getting burnt out. Just when I thought things would start looking up, everything started crashing down. And it happened at a time when good things were beginning to happen. I was meeting new people that I really enjoyed being around. Hayley's dad and I were back on speaking terms like two parents should be. And I finally felt comfortable with myself. So after what was a great Monday, I was headed to work on Tuesday and got pulled over for a dumb reason. I was not wearing my seat belt. Instantly I realized this was it...I couldn't afford insurance and hadn't been able to come up with the money to pay the taxes so my registration was outta date. The officer was very understanding but the law is the law and they had to impound the Tahoe. That was sad to watch my only mode of transportation being taken away. This took me to another dilemma. I had no way to go so how would I get to work?? I went home and 2 hours later I was getting an eviction notice. Usually the lady at the rental office works with me and I told her I would have all of the money the following Friday but I think upper management got strict and she couldn't work with me. 48 hours later my kids and I were without a home. Fortunately I had some friends we could stay with but that was cramped as there were already a lot of extra people there. So I went to stay with mom for a week. She lives in Augusta, GA so there wasn't much I could do from there. A week after losing my vehicle and apartment, I lost my job, because I had no way to get to work. I am back in Greenville, but alone. I made the tough decision to leave my older two children with my mom until Christmas break. I have never been without at least two of my kids at a time so this is killing me. I have people reaming me for "abandoning" my kids but that is far from what I did. My kids need stability right now but without a home they cannot have that. I do not want them going from place to place. They will attend school in GA and after Christmas break I will get them and bring them home. That gives me a chance to find another job and save up enough money to find a place to live and possibly a small cheap car that is easy on gas. Fortunately my younger two children have their fathers' families to stay with so I know they are safe, too. I miss my children more than you can imagine. Thank goodness for great friends. I may not have many but the very few I have are great. Andy has given me a temporary place to stay and Brandy has been a great support system, too. This was my first weekend without any children and while I had been saying for months that I needed a break, this certainly was not what I was thinking about. If it weren't for Brandy treating me to a concert Friday night and Todd keeping my company all weekend I probably would have moped around feeling sorry for myself. So, thanks you guys. I had a great time!! Now it's back to getting everything straight. If you know of any cheap but roomy places to live, any decent jobs hiring, and something on 4 wheels to get me from point A to point B, then please do let me know. Ok that's my venting for one day. Have a nice Wednesday.