Ok, I stink at English. I flunked it the first time I took it 8 years ago. I can not write. Apparently, my sentences don't form full ideas.... or something like that.
So, this paper only has to be 2-3 pages long (double spaced) and it's a narrative, something that happened to us that changed us, some event that affected us somehow. This one is tough for me because I have a HORRIBLE memory. I don't remember anything that's happened to me. Except the birth of my children... and she said not to write about that because every birth is basically the same (she's probably sick of reading birth stories).
I wonder if she might make an exception for mine though. My baby died an hour after birth. I kinda wrote a little bit, to get it started but... it stinks. I have a paragraph and can't figure out where to go from there. I was kinda getting into religion and how I had to give up my control to God. Immediately after she died I felt like it was supposed to happen, like there was reason to her death. I grieved her, of course, but what I think is odd is that I did not go into a depression. I have a history of depression. When I was 15 my first boyfriend dumped me for my best friend. I went into a depression and tried to commit suicide. I spent my 16th birthday in a mental health institute. But when my baby died I didn't even get depressed. What's the difference? The presence of God in my life.
So, well, here's what I have so far. If you have any suggestions please help!
English Comp 1A
Patricia Grace Henry (“Gracie”) was born at Victory Memorial Hospital in Waukegan, IL on October 23rd, 2003 at 7:03pm. At 8:35pm her heart stopped beating.
Dictionary.com defines control as a verb (used with an object) to exercise restraint of direction over; dominate; command. I have spent most of my life seeking control. Sure, I wanted to control other people, like family members and friends, but mostly I needed control over my own life. Prior to that fateful day I thought I had finally found that control. I had a house, a good job, a good husband and a child on the way: everything I had ever wanted. I thought I had command, that I had made all those things happen. I was wrong. On October 23rd, 2003 God showed me how wrong I was.
Then I was thinking about writing in a little about 2 Kings 5:1 and how when Naaman (or whatever his name was) let go of his control God healed him.
I thought about throwing in a little from this book I read a couple weeks ago Secrets of The Vine. It talks about how God disciplines us. But it also says that God does not discipline us by harming someone else. God did use my daughter to teach me, but was it discipline? I kinda think so. Suppose it's ok to disagree with the author on that one?
Ugh. I hate writing. Is this totally the wrong direction? I don't know.
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