So Depressing!

[paganmama999]

What is in the air? I feel like something heavy and black has fallen on me lately. I know it's not Seasonal Depression because Fall's my favorite time of year. But spiritually and psychologically I'm just barely hanging in.  I keep waiting for it to go away, but every morning I struggle to get out of bed, and I'm afraid I'll have to go back on meds. I've been med-free for almost 5 years. Except for the Nexium. But this is bad. I lack the motivation to do anything. I feel a little guilty sitting here typing this because I'm sure my time is better spent doing something else, but what? I would really hate to have to start therapy again. The therapists I've been to are absolute cretins! And many of them around here are, guess what, Christian therapists. Yes, one therapist actually told me to "Give it all up to God. Put it in His hands." I remember getting up and leaving and I remember my husband said he'd never seen my eyes bug out that way before. When I told him what happened, he just laughed. Like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life.  So nope. Not a fan of any of the 25 or so therapists I've seen. The one I did like, she was Christian as well but didn't let it interfer with psychotherapy, she quit to run a Christian TV station. I seriously hate living in such a rural sh**hole.  I'm not even motivated to pray, or make an offering, or pick up a Celtic textbook, study German, or anything that usually makes me happy. It's like something else has ahold of me. I don't know. For a writer, I can't seem to express my own thoughts and feelings very well. Writing right now just seems so incomplete. Can't put my finger on it. Something's just not right.

[Mama_McD]

Sep. 8, 2008 at 10:33 PM

I've been feeling that weight too, as well as some of my friends.  I looked up some astrology info, and last week there was an aspect of Saturn conjunct the Sun... causing some interesting dillemas and loss of energy.  Mars is in Libra for the first time in 2 years, which may take some getting used to.  Plus, Jupiter AND Pluto are geting ready to come out of retrograde motion (finally!!) and start moving direct again thru Capricorn in a couple weeks, so right now they are almost not moving at all!  I don't know how much you know about astrology, but all these things could definatley be causing us to be a little less motivated, more tired, and a bit "tested", but it should get better soon!

this is my favorite site for astrological forecasts (monthly)

http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/

this site contains some great astrology information!
Enjoy!
~ Mama McD ~