BUMPER STICKERS WE MISSED DRIVING SO FAST

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

11. If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings". 

13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. 

14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger. 

16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me! 

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. 

26. Illiterate? Write For Help.

27. Honk If Anything Falls Off. 

28. Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes. 

29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.

31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? 

34. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

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