somebody please help me

[HaydensMom178]

Okay, so....I'm a little conflicted here and I definitely need some advice and/or suggestions.  My husband and I have a 15-month-old son, Hayden with a cleft lip/palate.  We're still waiting for them to schedule his last surgery.  Ever since Hayden's been born, our sex life isn't nearly what it used to be.  I know that everyone goes through changes once they have a child, but it's like....I was always a very sexual person and now....I'm just a little lost.  Either I just don't ever feel like it again, or if I do, I just can't go with it and we end up not getting there.  Or, sometimes, in the middle of fooling around, I just lose interest.  Someone please help!  Is there something wrong with me?  I love my husband like no other, but I know that this has got to be hard for him as well.  I feel like a sexual failure.  I don't know what to do.  Date nights are out of the question, since Hayden's still on the Habermann bottle and no one has ever learned how to feed him.  He's never been with a babysitter since he was born because neither of our families wanted to help.  And we tried to teach them how to feed him and they gave up.  Now, no one comes over, no one wants to take care of him.  It's just the three of us, and I love my son, but I wonder if this could be part of what's going on.  Also, I just stopped the depo-provera shot a couple months ago because the hormones were leaving me with no libido.  I just wish we could get back to the way we used to be....or at least a normal sexual life.   

[MamaMulder]

Oct. 31, 2008 at 4:00 PM

Awww, mama. I think we all go through this at one point in time or another after having little ones. I can see how it can be so hard to feel romantic when you never get any time just the two of you. I'm wondering if maybe after your body gets back to normal from being on the shot if it will pick up a bit for you. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my kiddos and day to day stuff that I forget that it is a big part of a relationship and have a hard time wanting to do it. Now it seems if a drink a glass or two of wine after I put the boys in bed it seems to help me let loose. Good luck to you. Hopefulyl things get back to normal for you soon. Shine on mama!