why do guys have to be such jerks..

[Jayn0000]

ok so i give up, i am seriously just sick of feeling sad, my husband always complains about me, and his exes..  well i am SICK of it...  i mean god honestly i think about just getting up and walking out the door and not looking back at least 5 times a day.. AT LEAST..  and all i can think of is i wasn't like this when i met him.. and he says his exes ( whom he COMPAIRS me to ON A REGULAR basis) weren't either... but they got that way over time..  and honestly all i can think of is "HELLOOOOO  IF IT KEEPS HAPPENING  MAYBE ITS YOU DUMB ASS!!!"  i dont want to leave him.. and i doubt i will any time soon..  i am just annoyed..  i am sick and tired of hearing his 2 year old whining, and knowing he calles his friend and bitches about me for HOURS...  i just wish he would SHUT UP..   he whines i dont want to have sex with him any more.. OF COURSE I DONT when he makes me feel like i'm a stupid fucking idiot...  Bah..   he says i dont treat him with respect...   because i dont keep the house "clean"  to HIS MOMMAS standard ( granted we DO live in her house- she doesn't)  but the kids are clean and fed...   the house isnt TRASHED, just a little cluttered..  there are a few toys on the floor..  and maybe a pan in the sink..  its NOT  like i leave shitty diapers or  rotten food laying around.. (unless HE left them out.. because "HE cleans up his OWN messes"..  even though its often 2 DAYS later i will go clean the mess he made when he made dinner) ...  ok ..  well i have to go clean MORE now that all the kids are asleep and he is watching a movie.. 

Even though i was in the hospital 3 days ago for Mastitis and a 108 fever... i still have a killer head ache and i am EXHAUSTED..  yea lately he has helped a little with the kids..  and esp the day i went to the hosp, but i think that may have been because i had a seizure in front of him because of the fever..   he figured i wasnt going to change that diaper right then...  Bah...   ok so i guess i am done venting..

thanks for listening..