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Breastfeeding Rant...may offend!
- Sep 13, 2008 at 3:30 AM
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- Comments (8) Total Views (97) Everyone can see this journal post.
Okay, I don't in anyway hate mothers who chose to formula feed. If you FF, that's your deal, your choice, your baby. I obviously breastfeed, and I am proud of it. I think personally think that breastfeeding is one of the best things that you can do for a baby, but that is not to say that FF moms are worse mothers than those that BF. I in no way think that I am a better mother than any FF mom. I do not have this mentality that many FF moms accuse BF moms of having. All that being said...
I CANNOT STAND the fact that so many FF moms feel the need to give excuses as to why they didn't BF. If you chose not to, then so be it. Of course, there are medical reasons for SOME moms who do not BF...but it always seems that anytime the topic comes up, the FF moms come off with some excuse as to why they couldn't do it. It almost seems like they are ashamed of it and somehow have to justify the choice. All I am saying is there is no reason to make things up or give excuses. While I may feel that it would have been best for you and the baby to BF, I am not judging your parenting skills over the fact that you don't...and surprisingly enough, neither are other BF moms.
This was a post that was put up from one of the nursing groups that I am in. Someone had posted it up in another group that one of the moms is in:
WIth my first one it was a mix between choice and
not being able to. I had been thinking about breastfeeding but wasnt
sure and then I had my 3rd U/S and...... my little boy was Breech so
the doctor brought in an LC so that she could tell me what happens to
my milk with a Breech position baby. With a Breech baby your milk and
even the colostrum doesnt come in until after the baby is born and
sometimes it takes several weeks. So therefore I would not be able to
bf until about 2-3 weeks after birth.
Of course there was a chance that he would turn on his own but there
doctor didnt seem to think that it would happen, so about 3 weeks
before I was due she had another US done and he was still in the same
position only this time he had his hands stuck in my ribs. So I was
scheduled for a Cesarian 2 weeks from my due date. But much to our
suprise.... what do-ya know..... he flipped himself around and dropped
into position and the very same day and 1 hour after I was to have a
Cesarian he was born.
I asked to talk to a LC again and she just confirmed what I was afraid
of.... I deffinatly couldnt not BF until several weeks after. So I
would have to formula feed until I was able to, so.. I decided not to
BF him because I didnt want to start him on formula adnt hen all of a
sudden switch and start on BF so I stuck with the formula and he was a
very healthy baby and he had gained about 1-1/2 lbs when we went for
his 2 weeks checkup. Its really a good thing that I stuck with the
formula because my milk didnt come in for about another 5 weeks after
birth !!
With this baby I have decided to stick with formula feeding because I
want to. I see the women in the mall that are BF and they have to stop
and plop a booby out infront of all these ppl, worry about leaking and
pumping so that they can work, or running home every few hours so they
can feed their baby, and I just cant bring myself to do that. And I
want my husband to be able to feed the baby as well. IMO I think that
bottle feeding is actually better than BF.
Now, I am no doctor or LC or specialist in anyway when it comes to nursing and birth. I have only nursed one little boy, and he was not breech, but I am nearly positive that the position of the baby has NO EFFECT whatsoever on your body's milk production. That doesn't even make sense. Your body produces milk because of the hormones...not because of the way that your baby is positioned. Just to verify before I went running my mouth (or fingers), however, I did a couple google searches and came up with NOTHING that links breech births to inability to nurse. First, mature milk production doesn't begin until after the baby is born normally. Usually this happens about a day after delivery, but can take anywhere from 2 to 5 days, all of which depends on the baby's ability to latch-on and how frequently and effectively the baby sucks....not based on the labor experience regarding the position or if the baby was delivered vaginally or by c-section. Until mature milk is present, the baby receives colostrum. If an LC actually told someone this and encouraged them to use formula rather than attempt to nurse, they need to find another specialty because they obviously don't know all that much about nursing. Also, if there is no demand for milk, there is no reason for your body to produce it...hence the fact that it would not come in.
Yes, nursing mothers may have to "stop and plop a booby out in front of all these people" in the mall (because we obviously like a crowd to watch what we are doing, I guess), but don't FF moms have to stop and give the baby a bottle. Do you not ever hold your baby while you are feeding him or her? I had someone say recently while I was nursing that she couldn't BF because she needs her space. WHAT?!?! How about all the times that you have to physically get up at night to go fix a bottle for the baby? Nursing moms have the luxury of not really even needing to get out of bed (if we opt to co-sleep as well)...or at least avoid the kitchen everytime the baby wakes up. Also, hubbies can bond with the baby in plenty of ways other than feeing the baby...they do more than just eat. How about letting Dad burp the baby after you nurse them? They get to bond that way...just a suggestion. Or if you really want, you can go through the "hassle" of pumping just a couple ounces into a bottle so Dad can feed the baby.
I know the last comment is just an opinion...but seriously? Just wondering if this person honestly thinks that it is better for herself or for the baby? Again, I am not saying that this is the way that all FF moms think...
So basically, once again I am not saying that I am better than anyone who has opted to FF. I am not saying that they are horrible parents or anything to that effect (I can hear the drama already!)....all I am saying is stop with excuses! If you FF, then more power to you...if you can own up to the fact that you just didn't want to BF without coming up with a hundred reasons or excuses that make no sense.
Comments:
I agree with you. Excuses are lame.
The fact that there are so many judgemental BF mother's may be part of the reason she gave an excuse. Not saying all BF mothe's are judgemental but there's quite a few on this site that take pleasure in trying to make FF mothers feel guilty.
With that said I think her comment of Bottle feeding being better than breast feeding is kind of ignorant. She might have meant easier than breast feeding, which could be true for Hher. We all know that breastfeeding is the best route to go for health of both mother and child. It contains all the nutrients the baby needs along with antibodies, etc. Formula only goes so far. However, whichever route you choose is best for you and yours, the most important thing is that you are feeding your child. So many people get too wrapped up inthe BF vs FF debate that they forget there are children neglected by ttheir parents that starve to death.
This pushes my buttons sister! Even Formula commercials say formula is the best alternative to breast feeding. Read the buttom of the screen next time you see one!!!!!!!! IMO----I have never felt more needed or close with anyone like I do my son cuz we are very bonded through breast feeding! Im pretty sure that if the position of the baby mattered...someone would say that and there would be proof of it online. Sounds like a big fat EXCUSE to me!
Hmmm...My son was breech and he could still breastfeed. No one every told me that because he was breech that my milk would not come in for a long time. Mine came in fine.
"the average breastfeeding mother has over 150 contaminents in her milk and because your risks of post partum depression are GREATLY increased. "
Actually, this is untrue- BFing releases happy hormones. If you experienced really bad post partum it was probably due to your hospital birth and interventions. If you need your "space" after having a baby, then having a baby probably isn't the best choice for you to begin with,. It's a strong sign that you're not ready to be a mother.
Is that a judgement? Maybe. But it isn't based soley on your choice to FF. It's about WHY you want to FF.. Maybe that makes you want to make up excuses not to do it, but if you fear judgment so bad for your lack of interest in BFing, then it shows a lack of confidence in your decision.. No one else can make you feel guilty if you don't already feel the guilt..
"there are so many advances to formula, that it has everything that breastmilk does, if not more because a lot of mother's do not adapt their diets for baby nutrition. "
This is another untrue statement. Even if a mother does not adapt her diet to BF all of the best nutrients go into the BM.. The mother may lack the nutrition, but the child absorbs it. Formula doesn't change with every meal to suit a child's needs at the time, breast milk does.
While your two cents are certainly your opinion, they are not fact.
For the OP, wonderfully written!!!!!
"The fact that there are so many judgemental BF mother's may be part of the reason she gave an excuse. Not saying all BF mothe's are judgemental but there's quite a few on this site that take pleasure in trying to make FF mothers feel guilty..... So many people get too wrapped up inthe BF vs FF debate that they forget there are children neglected by ttheir parents that starve to death."
Call me judgmental- I am, and I see nothing wrong with it. - But here's the thing:
We're supposedly "above" animals, are we not? And yet every animal knows that if she doesn't feed her young her breastmilk her baby is going to die.
Why is it that humans make up something fake and inferior because they don't want to do what every mother on this earth was created to do- which is feed her own young?
How can we be above animals when we "don't feel like" feeding our own babies??
Just before I got pregnant with my first daughter one of my rats got pregnant and had babies. TWELVE babies!!! She nursed every single one of them- all thrived. And guess what? She didn't have the benefit of a husband to help her!!
With 12 babies, yeah she was climbing the walls of her cage. So we let her out for a run around a few times a day, and she ALWAYS came back to check on her babies, and she ALWAYS came running when she heard them all start mewling for her.
TWELVE babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And as humans we "need our space" from one child and can't be bothered to breastfeed it?
If a rat can have her space and still take care of a dozen children, then I certainly think "superior" humans with more help and more intellect can handle the feat of a single child.
I agree 100%, I respect peoples choice to FF, but don't act like you really couldn't because you feel guilty or feel the need to make excuses just cause you didn't want to.
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Meet jessicasmom1
This Pennsylvania mom of a 12-year-old girl wishes her daughter's father was still alive to see his little girl all grown up now.
People give excuses because others judge them. Can you honestly say that, when someone says I formula feed that at least one thought about how breastfeeding is better doesn't come across your mind?
I disagree that breastfeeding is better than formula (not necessarily that either one is better or worse, just that it doesn't matter) for 2 reasons...the average breastfeeding mother has over 150 contaminents in her milk and because your risks of post partum depression are GREATLY increased. This is why I didn't breastfeed my second. I did for a little over 2 weeks, but the post partum was so bad, it almost cost us our marriage and I wanted nothing more than to leave the house and be away from my children. In this day, there are so many advances to formula, that it has everything that breastmilk does, if not more because a lot of mother's do not adapt their diets for baby nutrition. I do think that breastfeeding is good if you are going to be bonding with your child, but I have a VERY strong bond with my children, especially my youngest who is a TOTAL momma's girl. Anyways, just my 2 cents.
- izzynlalasmommy
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