How to React when a Special Needs Child Has a Tantrum in Public
- September 19, 2008 at 1:25 AM by heidi1439
- 44 Comment(s)
- 909 Total Views
please vote popular!
Unless you have a special needs relative or you work with special needs children, you may be very shocked to see a quiet child suddenly have a temper tantrum in public. How should you react?
Resist the Temptation to Stare
It is human nature to stare if you witness the aftermath of a car crash or any other event that is out of the ordinary during your day. But if you suddenly see a special needs child having a temper tantrum while out shopping or as you wait your turn to see the doctor, you will be drawn to their screams and uncontrollable behaviour. It is tempting to stare. Staring will not help the situation and it will draw even more attention to the parents or guardians of the child. It is also very unkind to stare at a special needs child who is having a temper tantrum. Try to divert your eyes rather than continue to draw any more attention to the child. Your discretion will be greatly appreciated by the parents or guardians of the special needs child.
Allow the Child Some Room
A special needs child who is having a temper tantrum may be tired, hungry, or unable to respond to a difficult request that has been made of them. This can result in confusion and a violent outburst that you and others in the immediate vicinity were not expecting. What you need to do if you are faced with this is to allow the child some room. If you are confined to a waiting room and you were sitting close by the child, consider moving to a different location. This can act as a protection for you in case the child picks up an object and decides to throw it. Allowing the child some room can protect them in case the situation escalates quickly and there is a risk of injury to the child.
Keep Unkind Thoughts to Yourself
Witnessing a special needs child having a tempter tantrum is indeed very distressing, but consider how the parents or guardian of the child feel. They will have mixed emotions about what is going on. Not only will they want to ensure that the child is safe and not a danger to others, but they will want to de-escalate the situation in a calm manner. They will not want to hear rude comments from other people or be told to leave. Remember that you are not emotionally attached to this child and your life will likely continue as before, but others are attached to the child and will be hurt to hear unkind remarks made about the child.
If you ever witness a special needs child having a temper tantrum in public, try to show consideration for the parents or guardians. Allow the child some room and keep your thoughts to yourself. It is the kind thing to do.
Tags: disabilities, special needs, tantrums, meltdowns, parenting children with special needs
- Written by heidi1439 on September 19, 2008 at 1:25 AM
- 909 total views
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Comments:
I also don't think it's a terrible idea to help that parent out in any way that we can, if it looks like we can do it in a non-invasive way. I once saw a lady with a tantruming toddler trying to carry her baby and two lunch trays. I carried the lunch tray so that she could use her free arm to bring her child under control.
Thanks for this. Also people should keep in mind that not all special needs children look differently from typical children.
thank you for adding this! my dd has aspergers, and when people first meet her you cant tell by looking at her that she has any sort of disability, but she can go into meltdown mode easily when she is overly stimulated and has alot of sensory processing issues. and sometimes this can be misunderstood that she is having a meltdown because she is being "naughty" or because she is a "brat, spoiled" blah blah blah.
Yes that is a big add on . . my son is borderline aspergers and everyone goes ohh he don't look like it . . . people just think I can't control my child when he has a "sensory meltdown"
Great Post!!!!!!
Voted Popular & Bumped!!!!!!
Thank you thank you thank you! Voting popular. If you haven't been there you cant know and making rude comments does not help and a response above was exactly right some look like everyday average kids.
I voted popular. I have to deal constantly with the stares of people who think I am a bad mother with a spoiled brat. The grocery store is the worst because of all the smells and sounds and lights. My son looks fine but has ASD and cant control his outbursts. Thanks for a great post!!
Great post. Since you added that all special needs children do not "look" like they have special needs (as is the case with my son who has autism) I just wanted to add that I think these rules are great and should apply to EVERYONE! No mom who is trying to deal with a tantruming child in a store somewhere needs your nasty 2 cents, special needs or not. If you can't think of anything nice to say than just walk away. :)
This is a great post. Special needs kids need it posted on their backs. lol
I agree that there are situations that you should help the mom, like carrying the lunch tray. Too often, though it comes in the form of advice from other mothers who think they know better. Sometimes the advice is helpful and sometimes its common sense that has been tried like a million times and just doesnt work for this particular child.
My son has many medical problems and all of them are unobvious. Most of the time he looks and behaves like you would expect him to. Which makes it all the more overwhelming when he does go into a screaming fit. I have not been able to find rhyme or reason to it.
I think the best way to help the mom is to just ask, is there anything I can do for you right now?
I always feel like I am apologizing to the people around me for my sons behaviors or explaining them away. I have stopped doing that recently because its not my fault that he acts this way. so many people want to blame the parent as if we have asked for this.
The biggest help to me would be tolerance and understanding.
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Thanks for this. Also people should keep in mind that not all special needs children look differently from typical children. A child may be totally unable to control his or their behavior or have a mental age several years lower than their physical age. OR a child may not have special needs but just have been though a really rough and traumatic life experience that is affecting his or her mental state.
All too often people feel the need to comment when they see a child behaving badly in public. For the sake of kindness and compassion we should all keep any comments we have to ourselves.
dreyamom Sep. 19, 2008 at 1:39 AM