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Every decision we make has an effect on someone else...
- Sep 19, 2008 at 8:59 AM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (126) Everyone can see this journal post.
***I do recognize this is not for all cases of divorce! Abuse is always wrong, molestation is always wrong...we have a responsibility to keep us and our children safe! This is regarding divorce based on inconvenience, 'falling out of love', deciding you dont want to be married just because, etc...
Just didnt want to offend anyone else with this. Im not close minded, I do know divorce is sometimes a necessity!
Remember those you love...remember your kids...we are their #1 teacher. What will we teach them?
18 Shocking Statistics About
Children and Divorce
I’ve compiled these statistics about children and divorce for the “I’ll believe it when I see it” type of people who don’t accept anything as true unless it’s from a credible source or it’s been PROVEN in a convincing study.
If you are NOT one of these people, you need to read this anyway.
These days most people accept divorce as a way of life, completely unaware of the damage they are doing to their children. Tell your friends, acquaintances and co-workers to read these shocking statistics about divorce and children. It may help save a child’s life down the road. (And no, I’m not figuratively speaking either….just keep reading to find out what I mean.)
Statistics about Children and Divorce
1. Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.” (Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”)
2. Among the millions of children who have seen their parents divorce, one of every 10 will also live through three or more parental marriage breakups. (The Abolition of Marriage, Gallagher)
3. Forty percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers. (Wade, Horn and Busy, “Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform” Hudson Institute Executive Briefing, 1997)
4. Of all children born to married parents this year, fifty percent will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday.
The EMOTIONALLY Damaging Statistics about children and divorce
5. Studies in the early 1980’s showed that children in repeat divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around.
6. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year.
7. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems.
These statistics about children and divorce are pretty shocking…aren’t they? The DEATH of a parent is LESS devastating to a child than a DIVORCE. (Even I wouldn’t believe this if I didn’t see the statistic myself.)
The PHYSICALLY Damaging Statistics about children and divorce
8. Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married.
9. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families.
10. Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes.
11. Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members.
12. A Child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered.
The Long Term Effects and Statistics about children and divorce
13. A study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be “lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure.
14. Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes.
Problems Relating to Peers
15. Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact.
16. Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce.
Suicide Statistics about children and divorce
17. People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes.
High School Drop Out Statistics about children and divorce
18. Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce.
I can’t stress how important it is to know all the facts before you get a divorce. Your child’s life is in your hands. If you’re seriously considering divorce and you haven’t attempted to save your marriage , I’ve just given you 18 reasons why it’s at least worth a try to keep your family together.
Information gotten from 18 Shocking Statistics about Children of Divorce
**I didnt post this to scare anyone, but then again maybe we should be scared for our children! Maybe we will be less quick to make decisions that effect everyone around us before we think about them. My oldest son is a child of divorce. He is a fabulous kid. But I worry we are going to have issues psychologically later on. He currently blocks out the fact that Im not his birth mother. We are honest with him but he forgets-even saying things about when he was in my belly. Hes almost 10-he understands about other people who get divorced. But not with his dad and the birth mother he doesnt remember. I worry how this will be for him later.
I know there are situations where divorce can not be stopped. But if we are single-lets be more careful about life decisions! If we are married and struggling-we loved that person once! Try Try Try to find that love again! Do whatever it takes! Its our children's futures in our hands!
Comments:
Wow...
Sad indeed :'-(
Didn't listen to the song yet.......Just wanted to reply first.....I have been divorced. My oldest 2 are from that first marriage. I am now re-married ~ as is my ex. My children live with me and they see him once a week at my home, due to some horrible circumstances that took place when they were visiting him at his home.
We have a blended family, I now hav 4 children with my husband and am preg with our 5th.
Blended family life is HARD. We all love each other dearly, but no matter how hard we work at it, there is something in the midst. The children love my husband, and he loves them, they would all do anything for each other.....but the problem is COMMUNICATION and OFFENSE. That is a huge thing. My husaband and myself both come from broken homes. My husband's background is really horrible, mine was a little more stable, except for the stuff that happened on the quiet. Point to that is, he has NO CLUE how to relate to my older children because he was raised by a man that he thought was his real father, but found out as an adult that he in fact was not. his whle life he was treated terribly, like the "red-headed step-child" and never understood why. Well, unfortunately for my older 2, it is playing out in our lives. He tries really hard NOT to say the things that hurt, or have an attitude of -I don't even know what to call it. My reason for saying all of this, I guess, is to say that if you make a decision that will separate a family, make sure you are prepared to deal with all issues involved and not make excuses for them.
That is what we work on in this home daily....getting to the bottom of all things by talking through. Sometimes talking really loud at first, but trying to bring everyone involved to a point of being able to talk openly about things. To allow for healing on all ends.
My decision to divorce was a hard one. it was not an all of a sudden thought "oh, i don't like you anymore" it was something that was yearss in the making. And not entered into lightly.......and the thing is, some people think "whew! i will be rid of him/her!" NOT TRUE IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN.
Sorry Jill, I had NO intention of taking up your journal......I just had that to say......(not sure if it even made any sense!!) Thank you for posting this....hopefully it will open the eyes and the heart of someone in a situation that CAN be helped, with determination and God.
Just remember.... staying in an unhappy marriage is JUST AS DAMAGING. Sorry, to disagree, but it is true. You are right, if your marriage is happy and healthy, your kids are better off. But if you are getting divorced, this is obviously not the case. I could go on and on, and do a search for statistics that agree with me, as they are out there too.... but I am choosing to put my foot in my mouth now. BECAUSE, it is OK to disagree sometimes....
But please remember the rate of Domestic Violence in today's world has increased to a sickening amount. Don't close this door on the people that need you most. Many of today's divorced couples are products of domestic violence... which leads me to ask this, is the cause of these frightening statistics the divorce per se, or the cause of the divorce itself?
Eljamom-I agree-many divorces are necessary as I stated at the bottom. My husbands first divorce was not one of his choosing. My aunt was divorced because of domestic violence, molestation of her child, etc...So I totally agree being in a marriage that is damaging and hurting everyone isnt always the solution either! IM TOTALLY AGREEING! Thats why I believe its soooooo important to not get married based on a fuzzy feeling. KNOW THAT PERSON! I know people can change and lie and become something they werent in the beginning. But alot of young people today especially-friends and family that i know...enter the bonds of marriage so quickly and then leave it just as easily. Thats the people Im trying to get across to. My husband's ex jsut wasnt ready to grow up. But she was pregnant and married him because he felt it was what they should do. He really tried. DESPERATELY TRIED...she cheated and left. She left their son behind and never turned back. Its been almost 9 years since that day. Caedmon has no memory of this woman. Just memory of a gap in his life where 'I' was missing to him. He isnt always sure why I wasnt there. Its hard on me because I feel like he thinks I left him at some point. Its hard on my husband because he has to sit down and remind him and talk to him over and over about their past. Its hard on Caedmon because he doesnt understand what was missing in his life before and where I came in.
She left out of selfishness, not out of neccessity! That is who this post is for. Those living for themselves! When we become a parent-we dont live for ourselves anymore!
She left out of selfishness, not out of neccessity! That is who this post is for. Those living for themselves! When we become a parent-we dont live for ourselves anymore!
This I do agree with as well!!!!
Yes! And just like I made that statement -I DO AGREE AS A PARENT IF THERE IS ABUSE GOING ON OF ANY KIND-it is our RESPONSIBILITY to get our CHILDREN OUT OF THAT HOME!
Thank you for sharing this Jill. I have not heard this song before.
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Wow. :( What sad statistics.
I sang that song at church several months ago and it took a lot for me to keep it together and not cry while singing. It's so powerful!
- momtoedemtom
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