life is changing again
- September 19, 2008 at 5:05 PM by GENN_FOX
- 5 Comment(s)
- 39 Total Views
so my life is going to be changing again...... any of you that talk to me on a regular basis know that i got married 5 months after my mom passed away... it was to my on and off again boyfriend who is several years younger than me.... i knew it wasnt going to be easy ..... it never is with him but i guess i wanted a place ot belong and a family to have since my mom was it for me..... well it didnt work out and now i am going to be on my own again.... i am very scared and devastated but my rocky marriage just isnt going to be able to pull through.. he made alot of changes and i made alot of changes but it just isnt enough.. the deep core issues are the same and they will NEVER be able to be resolved....
i am not happy about having to be on my own... i want a family and i want the kind of partner that wants to join me at events and i want someone who will be great for chloe.... i want someone who loves me and doesnt enjoy hurting me..... and i want someone i can make happy or atleast satisfied and that has the same goals as i do.....
his parents are out of town until after the weekend and then i am going to have to break the news to him and them that i will no longer continue to put myself at risk and continue to fight a losing battle...... i hope i have the strength to follow through and to stay away.... i hope i dont give in again and keep trying .... i hope i can handle being on my own.... and i hate the fact that i dont want this.... i want to love him and make it work.... i havent spoken to him since tuesday and i miss him.... but i am so scared that he has no remorse
- Written by GENN_FOX on September 19, 2008 at 5:05 PM
- 39 total views
- See all posts by GENN_FOX
- Everyone can see this journal post.
Comments:
Good luck with everything. I've been through two failed marriages and it's hard work to get through, but if it isn't working it just isn't, you know. If you need to come to CA and have a break, you know you're welcome here for a while. Or if you need a shoulder to cry on, let me know and I'll pass my number on. Best of everything, honey; you deserve to be happy.
Oh, Jenn. I wish I could be there for you. Leaving is the hardest decision to make but like you said you need to be happy and Chloe needs to be secure. We always take comfort in what we know however sometimes jumping off that proverbial cliff is what we need to kick start a life. I did it and survived and eventually thrived but it certainly was not where I saw myself being. Like you I wanted and still want to have someone to go places with me. Places I want to see, things I want to do for a change... But that is another story for another time. I am here for you and you know I will do what ever I can. Distance does not make or break a friendship, strength and caring do. I love you lots Call me if you need me (and I really do mean that!!!) I don't care what time, I don't have a life (LOL...I think) Ever consider moving to Va????
Any way, any time, any where I can , my friend for you I would and will be. I am sending my guardian angel to keep her eye on you and Chloe. (she is the reason for the ladybug...remember my photos)
Love you. jenn
I have told you over and over I am here for you and I know you know that. This week was really hard for me and I am sorry I wasn't totally there for you.
You are a very strong person. You must do what is right for you. Its hard, yes. But follow it through for you and Chloe. You deserve to be happy and with someone that will treat you the right way.
I love you Jenn!!!!
You are always there for everyone else... . we are all here for you. Its time you do something for YOURSELF!!!
Ending a marriage is always difficult, but it sounds like you know that it is the right thing for you. In my case, once my first marriage was over, I felt free. Let me know if you need to talk. It looks like there are lots of ladies here that know what you are going through and have been there. Hugs.
Heather
Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?
Click here to register for CafeMom
Already a member?Click here to log in
Today's Theme (32 posts)
Have you started your holiday shopping yet?
Read what other moms are writing
Write your own post
View Prior Themes
I am sooo sorry to hear about this !!!! You are a STRONG woman and will get through this!!!!
JennD318 Sep. 19, 2008 at 7:00 PM