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Friendship: want one? Be one....
- Sep 21, 2008 at 11:19 AM
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- Comments (13) Total Views (603) Everyone can see this journal post.
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
~ Alice Walker
Friendships..... we really can't be without them. So many forms of them: work "friends", neighborhood "friends", childhood "friends", Internet "friends". Really, though, aren't those all acquaintances? Perhaps with the exception of childhood friends - if you are, still. Don't make the mistake of confusing acquaintances as friends - acquaintances pay 'face time'. Friends - as Jay Leno points out - will drive you to the airport. They'll answer the phone at 4 am. And yes, they WILL tell you that your ass looks fat in those jeans, and you won't be mad about it, either!
Friends are those who truly accept you for who you are. Friends are those who can criticize without reproach, while helping each other to learn and grow. Friends can open our eyes, simply by pointing out that which should be seen, both in ourselves and in our world. Friends offer both a shoulder to cry on, and a swift kick in the ass, when needed! Friends - true friends - respect each other's opinions, even when they don't agree. Friends are that, and so much more.
Respect. Acceptance. Support. Understanding. All are hallmarks of great friendships. You don't have to be "peas in a pod". The most appreciated - valued - friendships, are those that we have with people who have different experiences, opinions and backgrounds. How do we grow, as people, if we have "yes men" for friends? If we surround ourselves with people "just like us", life is indeed boring, shallow and self-centered.
Being a friend isn't hard. To truly be a good friend, there is only one thing to do: treat them as you wish to be treated.
Comments:
Great post! Thanks!
Beautifully stated my friend! :)
<applause><applause> And this is why you're my Sis ...
You mean I have to get rid of all those people who do nothing but agree with my every move?! Aw... man! ;)
I wish it were that easy, but it isn't for those of us who are on the spectrum. Most people are very intolerant of us and don't try very hard. I don't like to gossip, I don't do small talk, I don't like to shop or talk about fashion or decorating. I am honest and loyal and willing to try. I just don't understand what women want.
Respect. Acceptance. Support. Understanding.
It is this easy, but only when BOTH people step up and act accordingly, instead of focusing on themselves and what they're getting out of the relationship. BOTH people need to give, or it isn't really a friendship.
Wonderful post!!
Respect. Acceptance. Support. Understanding.
It is this easy, but only when BOTH people step up and act accordingly, instead of focusing on themselves and what they're getting out of the relationship. BOTH people need to give, or it isn't really a friendship.
And when you have done all that, sometimes for years, and it isn't reciprocated, then what?
Great point, Yoli! Yes, as the old saying goes: to have a friend, be a friend. To get these things - you must give them, unconditionally, in return.
Doc - I feel ya on this one. I know how tough it can be for people on the spectrum to make friends. I'm sorry that you haven't found a friend to appreciate you for who you are: wonderful, smart, funny, caring - all that and more. We really should be better acquainted, you and I, after all this time! Let's fix that, k?
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I totally agree! Great article!
- usanamama
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