Ashley's Treatment

[etropic1]

This entry was originally posted in January 2007...

Ashley's Treatment Blog..

Last night as I was trying to find some way to get to sleep, I tuned the tv dial to CNN, Something that I do rarely. The following story appeared:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/conditions/01/04/ashley.treatment.ap/index.html

After watching this story I was absolutely shocked and speechless!! I was visibly upset and even shaken. How dare these "parents" (and I use those words lightly) do something so horrible and graphic to their child!!!! It absolutley disgusted me. Here is why:

First, when we as adults, decide to have a child, we don't get to pick what they look like or even if they are born healthy. It's a crap shoot, just like anything else in life. I think I can rationaly say that nobody wants to give birth to a child with a debilitateling disability. That is why there is the option to abort. (I am not saying I know all of the relative informatin here either. Whether these parents knew they were giving birth to this child is irrelevant to me) Most parents, I know, want not only the best for their child, but better than what they had as a child. We all want our children to start out on the same playing field as every other child in this world. Sadly, this is not how our world works. Just as this article says, "Unless you are living the experience ... you have no clue what it is like to be the bedridden child or their caregivers."  So I applaud whole heartly parents who personally take care of their children with disabilities at home and the day to day struggle they go through. But I do know this: There are other options for this family. PERIOD! With that being said, I move to my next point.

Children are not born in to this world for one's CONVEINENCE! What right do these parents have to in essence, neuter their child?!?! Simply because it would be harder for them to care for her??? What a lame excuse! I could POSSIBLY understand if she was estimated to grow up to be a tall woman. POSSIBLY.  But to remove her female organs and rip her breast buds out?? There are other alternatives to what this family did to their child. Depo-provera for one. Seasonale birth control secondly.http://www.seasonale.com/ 

Thirdly, who cares is she grew breast??? It's not as if this child is living in some nursing home where some creepy male nurse or cna could possibly assault her??!! (As sick as that sounds, I have worked in nursing homes where that has happened in the past! Even if this family did have her in a nursing home, the odds of my previous statement actually happening are slim to none.) If they would have had a boy instead of a girl, would they have castrated him just to make it easier for them when it came time to change his foley bag??

I just don't see where this was neccessary to do to this child. To put her through the pain of surgery, and recovery and all with her not being able to speak and tell someone when she was in pain!! Having a total oophorohysterectomy and in essence, & a double mastectomy is no walk in the park. Being a CNA, I have worked with women who have had them,(oophorohysterectomy that is) my mother being one of them. I have seen first hand the painful recovery. The recovery time from a oophorohysterectomy can range from a minimun of 3 weeks up to 12 weeks.

I guess what I'm getting at is this: If you "love" your child as you say you do one doesn't purposely inflict pain on a child for the parent's conveinence. Again, I applaud this family for being able to take care of their child at home and not have her institutionalized somewhere. However, I think their motivation was wrong in doing this to their child. They had other options than butchering their child. What's to prevent these folks from chopping off her arms and legs because they get inthe way when they are trying to take care of her? "She doesn't use them anyway", is the reason I see being given here! If and when the time came when they could no longer take are of their daughter, then you find the avenue in which you can. Wether it be an in home nurse, or having to to put her into a nursing home. Personally, I think the nursing home could and would have taken care of this child in a more humane way than these parents have. The nurses I have personally seen who work in nursing home are some of the most dedicated and loving people one could ever meet. It's a shame this girl will never know that kind of love.

In closing, I have only this left to say: I can only imagine how heartbreaking it would be to give birth to a child who can not even begin to convey it's wants, needs, and or pains. I can't imagine the hard work and deterimination it must take to care for a child with special needs. BUT, when you treat that child no better than a domestic animal, how much love and care are you really giving her?!?! What's next for this child? Let's fast forward 30 years. I'll give you a glimpse of what I see. I see the parents "accidentailly" smothering her with a pillow because it "just became too hard to take care of her" & "we weren't expecting her to live this long" "We only ended her life because she was "suffering". Truth be told, the medical ethics board of the hospital who preformed the previously mentioned procedures weren't "comfortable" in allowing the parents to euthanizing this patient when they asked permission to do so. So then the blame will lie with the medical review board. "They forced our hand," will be shouted by Ashley's parents,(Who just so happen to hide their identity presently)through tear streamed faces. "Even though caring for Ashley involves hard and continual work, she is a blessing and not a burden," her parents say. Somehow I find this statement from their "blog" hard to believe. Their actions say differently. If she is such a blessing you love her UNCONDITIONALLY just as EVERY GOOD PARENT SHOULD! Shame on these parents!! I hope there is a special place in hell for these two. For what they have done is equal to child abuse.