I have recently been inendated with a question lately that I find bothersome. Whether it be family, friends or even total strangers out in public, the question is always the same: When are you going to have another child? Not only do I find this question highly offensive, but I feel it's totally inappropriate to ask such a thing in front of my son!!
Even though my son is only 20 months old, it's just a matter of time and he will be able to understand more clearly what people are saying. I feel that this question infers that my son isn't enough; that I am not totally fufilling my role as a mom if I don't have more children. What gives people the right to ask me such a question? I understand this question is a normal question to ask, but it makes me uncomfortable.
I'm fortunate enough that I can stay @ home with my son and not have to worry about juggling a career. I love being a mom, and to be honest I'm enjoying the stage where my son is now. He's figuring things out for himself, and learning how to be an independent person. I love being able to see his reaction to something new and how it affects him. So I ask, why would I rush into having another child so soon after having my son? I feel I am being responsible by not having additional chilren. Strangers don't know my financial status, or even how my health is. Maybe I can't ever have more children? Do people stop and think before asking such a personal question? How do you think that question would make someone who can't have more children feel?
It's one thing for family and friends to ask this question but total strangers??? With family and friends I don't mind as much, but I still feel uncomfortable being asked. To me it comes across as "hurry up we want more grandkids/nieces/nephews/cousins!" I'm not a log ride @ Six flags folks.
Secondly, I think I am being responsible by choosing to wait before having more children. It's my choice, my body, & my responsibility IF and when I choose to have more children. I feel that the question"(When)Are you going to have more children?" should never be asked unless the parent initiates this conversation. So please, if you see or know someone with a younger child, think twice before asking them such a personal question.
Thank you for posting this - it really did give me something to think about. I guess it got me thinking & I realize that I ask my friends / family that have kids that are young "Do you want more kids" or "Are you doing to have more?" I guess what I am asking isn't quite as personal as asking "When" because it isn't pressuring them to have more kids - I do thank you for your post - I am DEF going to rethink asking this question in the future :)
Thank you for posting this - it really did give me something to think about. I guess it got me thinking & I realize that I ask my friends / family that have kids that are young "Do you want more kids" or "Are you doing to have more?" I guess what I am asking isn't quite as personal as asking "When" because it isn't pressuring them to have more kids - I do thank you for your post - I am DEF going to rethink asking this question in the future :)
- bethany49
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