Dinner and Movie vs Dancing and Bar.... a Narrative

[AmysPureRomance]

With urgency created from the seemingly endless amount of nights spent at home or at a restaurant, I begged my husband to take me out to a club.

His solution was, fervently, that we just go "to dinner and movie". It really aggravated me that he would even bother to ask, because that was the only thing that we ever did outside of our house, and essentially was the reason that I wanted to go to a club.

Personally, I only like to go to the movies once in an extreme while when there is something that I really really want to see, because I can't see going somewhere and paying $15 for us to sit in a room with other people and watch TV. I don't even like to sit at my own house and watch TV very much. Why would I pay $15 to do it with other people? Aside from that, I wanted to talk to him and spend time with him; not sit there, silently next to each other.

His anger and irritation at the mere mention of a dance/bar setting was infuriating to me, although he finally resolved to taking me, for the simple reason that he was sick of my asking again and again.

After four years of marriage, we were both finally going to a club together, and I had hoped that once we got there, that he'd relax and see that this was a new, fun thing for us to do together.

I was wrong.

In the club, he found a chair and just sat. Not put off just yet, I got a drink, and danced a little bit around him. He kept grabbing me, refusing to let me dance, and forcibly made me sit down.

"You know how I feel about that!" he said.

My husband doesn't like to dance, because he feels stupid. I was instantly pissed, and said, "Just because you don't like to dance, now I'm not allowed to dance, either?!" I hissed at him.

"Not on me like that."

He sat.

My husband just sat there, arms crossed, refusing to dance, and getting increasingly volatile at my own attempts to dance.

Here he was, this man who claimed to love me unconditionally and to the moon and back, sabotaging my good time, because he didn't want to be there for no "real" reason other than that he had already decided that he didn't like bars and clubs. His reason? "I don't like drinking and I don't like dancing. WHY would I go?"

In less than an hour, we left; he, smug with victory. I, enraged at his obvious attempt to make an evening that I wanted to be special, into something miserable.

In the car, the conversation altered between nonexistent and loud. I would yell at him for being such a jerk, ruining my time, and his defense always came back as, "I told you that I hate clubs and bars."

The following week, my husband began to feel bad for what he did, I suppose, because the next weekend, he asked if I'd like to go out. I asked to do what.

"To go see a movie and get some dinner."

He had to have seen the rage flicker behind my eyes when he said that. My response to his suggestion is less than what polite company should hear, but needless to say, we didn't go.

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My husband has a motorcycle. In fact, I could go as far as to say that my husband is in love with motorcycles. He loves to ride. He loves for me to ride on the back. It's one of his favorite passtimes.

I hate riding. It's boring, it's loud, you can't talk and you can't even listen to music. It's uncomfortable, and, did I mention boring?

My husband knows how I feel about riding his bike. Occasionally I would offer to go for a ride, out of all the stupid reasons, to make him happy.

So, you can guess what happened the next time that he wanted to go for a ride. He said, "Hey do you want to take a bike ride?"

"Yeah! Let's ride to a club."

We have been married for just over 9 years now, and the argument still stands; every time he asks to go for a ride, my response is the same.

Since that time our bike riding time has waned significantly, and we have still never been back to a bar or club together.