Just thinking...

[zackkatiejames]

My hubby and I are very opposite as far as our pasts, personalities and such.  He was raised in a quiet Christian home.  If you got mad at someone, you walked away, worked on your attitude, got over your anger and let it go.  Needless to say, they don't get angry very often. (If ever)

I grew up in a loud Christian home.  My parents' marriage was always on the rocks and I grew up knowing not to believe when my parents told us kids they were getting a divorce.  It happened a lot.  I learned to fight, and fight dirty.  I learned to bash, be sarcastic, yell, manipulate, and forcemy feelings on the person I was fighting with.  I learned how to plan my attack.

When I got married, these fighting tactics didn't help much.  My hubby would shut down and walk away.  I would yell and scream.

I have changed my tactics since then.  And we don't fight in front of the kids.  But still I wonder what I am doing to my marriage.  I am spoiled and I know it.  My hubby adores me, and brings me flowers just because.  He tells me I am beautiful everyday.  (Even though I am very overweight.)  I have an Aunt who is very loud, spoiled and complains all the time.  She is never happy and it is miserable to be around her.  My Uncle (due to years being married to her) is a submissive, quiet, depressed person.  He wasn't always like this.  I don't want my hubby to end up like that, or me like her.  Wow.  I am going to need a lot of God in my life if I am going to prevent that.  When we fight, even when he is mad at me, he will still happily wrap his arms around me, hold me and tell me he loves me.  Whe I am mad at him, he reaches for me and I pull away.  I don't let him touch me and I hold it against him until I feel he has been properly punished.  Since when is it my job to "punish" him?  What is my problem?  I waste so much time in unforgiveness and time should not be wasted.  My husband deserves being treasured the way he treasures me.

 

[vicki1130]

Sep. 25, 2008 at 11:54 AM Maybe he understands you better than you think he does. Maybe you could print this out and show it to him. It's often a lot easier to express the way we feel about someone when we write it out. If he knows how you feel and how you're struggling, he could help you overcome it. He could help you work at it. But if you don't tell him what's going on, he'll never know.