What if....

[Tylersmama06]

hmm..well I guess this one is about how much I have been missing my dad...he passed on April 24th, 2008 and it's kinda hard...no it's not kinda hard..it is hard.  I was very very close to my dad, and I miss him so much.  There are days when I think about him so much, and I wish I could have had just one more day with him.  He lived in NH and  I live in FL, and well the last 2 years that he was with us, he was sick..and I should have been closer to him to help take care of him.  I am so mad at myself for that.  I keep thinking that if I was there, I could have done something...he died at my parents house of a heart attack and my mom was the only one there with him and she did not know CPR, and she was so scared...I know CPR, I could have helped...if I was there then there's a chance he could still be here. :(.........(sorry I had to wipe the tears)........I know it's not fare to me to keep thinking those things, and I know that my dad would not have wanted me to do this...but I can't help myself.  I just keep thinking...What if?