How can you sleep next to someone, make love to them, and tell them you love them, when they have broke your heart? This is the reality I live everyday. I love my husband very much we've been together for over 11yrs. I've given him all of me mind body and sole, and all he has given me is heartache. He never put his hands on be but sometimes it hurts more than that. I remember a time when we were so in love and I miss that. But everyday I sleep next to this man, and my heart aches so much. I so desperately wanna be happy with him but my heart has given up many years ago. I feel empty inside, and I feel like I'm alone most of the time, emotionally ( if that makes sence). So why don't I walk away? IDK! something keeps me tied to him, is it love? Is it ...... I don't know. I wanna feel like I matter, I wanna feel anything again. I want to know in my heart I'm all that matters to him. I wanna know that he'd ride or die for me. (sorry old school terms lol). I wanna know that I'm his wife. I wanna cry again I wanna feel sad, but I just feel empty. To that I say give my my heart back let me live let me know what love is again. Who ever this cruel demon is please give it back, give back the hurt, give back the heartache the jelousy, anything! Because this empty place you left is worse than any pain I've ever felt. Please Let me breath again let me dream, let me love.

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Oct. 3, 2008 at 2:55 AM

...I dont know. I ask myself this...

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Oct. 11, 2008 at 9:24 AM

Sometimes... you just have to breathe.... and let it go.  Holding on to the hurt is only hurting yourself.

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Oct. 13, 2008 at 12:08 AM

It's hard not to hurt, and to let go.

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