I have been with a wonderful man named Jeremy for going on 6 years. We have 4 beautiful children together. Here for the past 13 months Jeremy has been stationed in Iraq due to come home early December! For the past week or so he's been really distant. So I started asking questions. 6 years and he still had yet to ask me to marry him! Why? He tells me he loves me daily. So I called and talked to his mom who told me she was busy and would call me back. When she called back, I found the answers to all of my questions. When Jeremy was home on leave in April, we had got into a fight and he had left for  a few days. Well within that few days he met this girl. He got her pregnant. After he found this out, they got a proxy marriage. They father of my children, the love of my life. Actually got married and now he says he is in the process of getting divorced! WHAT DO I DO? We was talking this past friday and he had asked me to marry him, but forbid for me to tell anyone. Who actually does that to someone? Who asks them to marry you and then forbid them to tell anyone. But in the whole thing, he hasnt talked to me for 2 days. His mom is biting my head off, geez I didnt know he was marriedd. I always thought that maybe he just wasnt ready to marry me. Now I need to figure out how to tell him its over but I still want him in the kids life. Can someone please help me? Im desperate, I have a broken heart, 4 kids who ask for their daddy every 10 minutes and.....no words to know what to say. PLEASE HELP!!


~<3~ Brooke ~<3~

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Oct. 5, 2008 at 2:48 PM

I'm sorry this is happening to you, I'm not really sure what to tell you. It would be a big mistake if you marry him, with him not wanting you to tell anyone, thats just wrong. Theres really no easy to end a relationship of 6 years with 4 children involved. You just have to tell him how you feel, and if you feel like you can't stay with him let him know. But let him know his children still need him. I wish you luck.

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Oct. 5, 2008 at 8:27 PM

Wow.  I am so sorry.  I hate to even say this, but you have given a man 6 years of your life and 4 children and he still isn't capable of a commitment to you, I think you already know the answer. 

If his mother is in on it too, then, that tells you something.  This is not a "family" and a "husband" you want.  I come from a long military background, and so absolutely respect what these soldiers are doing and living through.  God bless them all.  But ,  So are you, as the one left behind taking care of his children.  Being a soldier and having been in Iraq doesn't give you a free pass.  If you give him a free pass, you will regret it.  Move on, let him be a father to his children if he can/chooses.  Don't win an award for "Ms. Safety Net".

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Oct. 7, 2008 at 8:55 AM

Don't dwell on the past  with him.   Move on.  You and your children need a stable happy life with someone who can commit to you and accept your children as his own.  Good luck.  Be strong. You are everything to your children.  They should come  first in your life.  GOD BLESS YOU ALLhugs

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Oct. 12, 2008 at 12:02 AM

Looks like you've been dealt a really crappy hand.  You are a young, beautiful, good hearted woman that deserves better than that.  Do whatever makes you happy, because that is all that matters in life.  You were faithful to him all that time he was overseas, and he couldn't even return the favor for a few days.  Put yourself first for a change, you deserve that.

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Oct. 12, 2008 at 10:39 PM

   I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am even more sorry that he couldn't be man enough to tell you all this after it happened. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you hun, but the only thing I can say is that I am sorry. My prayers are with you and your family, and I really hope it all turns out for the best.

God Bless! :)

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