P.A.R.E.N.T.S

[pkraft1103]

P - Praise.  Praise is to the spirit what food is to the body.  Instead of criticizing our children about what they do wrong, we should praise them for what they do right.  "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless." 

A - Accept.  Accept our children as who they are.  They are human and flawed.  They have character flaws as well as amazing talents.  We can easily accept their good qualities and choices; however, we often have a hard time accepting that they are not perfect and that they too make mistakes.  Sometimes they will be mediocre and may not live up to expectations, but that is okay.  Infact, the word mediocre comes from the latin word mediocrus which means "half-way up the mountain."  To be mediocre isn't bad - it just means they are half-way up that mountain.  Embrace that stage of their lives.  Even the most talented athletes, singers, actors, and rocket scientists were mediocre at some point.  Mozart, who was composing music at age 4 was mediocre at it at age 2.  So, be accepting of them as they are.

R - Respect.  Respect their desires, talents, and choices (as long as they are safe and within the gospel guidelines).  If we do not show our children respect, how can we expect them to respect us in return?  They learn from everything we do.  Sometimes it is hard to remember that they are our brothers and sisters.  In the pre-existence, they were our equals - our brothers and sisters.  The only difference is that they were a little more valiant than we were because they were born after us. 

E - Encourage.  Encourage your childen in all that they do and try to do.  Your encouragement will create a safety net that will remain with them into adult-hood.  Believe in them and always be there for them with encouraging words.  When they fall, pick them up and teach them to try again because you believe in them. 

N - Notice.  Notice what they do and what they don't do.  Sit on your natural tendencies to jump on the negative.  Instead, take a step back and notice the good.  Like when your child brings a report card home and there are all A's and 1 B.  The first reaction is often "What happened there?  What was the deal with that?  Why wasn't that one an A too?"  Instead, mention how great it is that they got so many A's and that they must have worked so hard to get them.  Congratulate them on their successes, and then - if you must, ask about the "failure." 

T - Time.  Make sure to spend quality time with each child.  They may act like they don't want it, or that they hate it, but deep inside, they love it.  Spend time with them on things that really matter.  Instead of saying that you don't have time to do something with them tonight, make time.  If you do not make time, you will soon realize you have run out of time. 

S - Say.  Give them a say in their own choices - give them ownership in their lives.  Of course, give them boundaries and guidance, but give them a choice.  Even for very young children, they can make choices and feel like their opinion matters.  A simple question to a 2 year old "would you like milk or juice with dinner" can make them feel like they matter and that their opinion is valued. 

P.A.R.E.N.T.S - those are all things we can do as parents to teach our child to have self-esteem as well as self-worth. 

I just thought I'd share that...mostly for myself, but maybe I'm not the only mom out there that needed to hear this message. 

 

I saw this and I really loved it!

[Lovelylis]

Oct. 7, 2008 at 10:36 AM

this is great!!! thanx for it!!! xoxo Lisa