Does anyone have teenage boys out there? OMG, my 14 year old treats me like he hates me almost all of the time. I don't know why. He's so stinkin miserable to me, I just don't get it. It hurts my feelings alot because he was the sweetest best behaved boy growing up. He is starting to act just like his father ( my ex) down to a T. What the heck?? I just don't know what I do to this kid to make him this way all the time.  People say he will grow out of it, that it's a stage but I'm starting to wonder seriously if he will always be this way. But yet he can't go to bed at night without me giving him a hug and a kiss. I don't know if rudeness and disrespect is what boys go through or not. I know I did somewhat, but a boy?  I'm just shocked that my sweet little boy isn't a sweet little boy anymore.  I'm not sure what to do or what to say to him anymore.  I would love help from any moms out there going through the same thing.  I'm at my wits end.



frustrated

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Kay300
Oct. 7, 2008 at 9:34 AM

Thats to bad, I'm sorry........ at least the Hugg and a Kiss, means there's still Hope........  (I do know at this age, - (may daughter is 13).... -  the more we push or nagg, or Drill, or ask questions.... only makes it worse).....  --  I would recommend, 'praying, start by, praying to forgive him, for the way he's acting, (this prayer always works, and somehow 'release's things').........  --  then Focus on You, get yourself in tip top condition, 'Make sure your Completely Organized, make sure the house is clean and neat, including his room, even if you have to hire merry maids to come in One Time, Plan some decent meals at night, (we had baked chicken breast in the overn, and when my daughter came home and then my husband, they both said, wow, that smells good).............. ---  Do you kinda get my point............  If you do what I've said, see if a change doesn't come about...........................  I 100% think it will.  You do all this, and give him some space and I think it will work.......  (Kids want the 'homey life'... when they come home... whether they act like it or not, and I also give my daughter a lot of freedom, there are always football games at the school or other activities, and I let her do them all, and each day, I make sure she has Money on her.........  --  And things are going Super for us!!!!.... Everything I've said WORKS>......

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mindy...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 10:20 AM

My son is now 27, however, I do remember when he was 14.  He's rebellion didn't really start till around 17, he got very angry all the time, till he threw something in the house and almost hurt one of my daughters, he left home then for about a year and ahalf.  That was hard, but he grew up.  But for you, don't tolerate the rudeness, however, correct him in love, and sometimes that's tough love.  He may act like your ex, because some behaviour is learned.  Let him know the house rules and give him consequences to any behaviour, wrong and/or right.  Pray often against the rebellion, because that is what he is doing.  This is such a difficult time in their lives because they are learning to come into their own, so things are frustrating for them and hormones are raging, yet tho we have "bad" days, we are not allowed to display bad behaviour in our work places, school or just in general, he has to learn to go through difficult times, and yet still be respectful.  This is going to be a tough time, yet it to will pass.  Love him through it and I'll be praying for you.

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Kay300
Oct. 7, 2008 at 10:28 AM

I feel the divorce has the most to do with it, I feel so sorry for all the kids that have gone through this, and the damage it does to them.............  Parents who choose to bring children into this world, should NEVER get divorced, or wait to at least the kids are raised and out on their own........  People are just to selfish to really care about what it does to the kids....  My husband and I have bad times, and I tell myself, know we brought this child into the world, thats are full responsibility, and you don't put any kid through a divorce, and I bet your like all the other woman, and meet someone else, and say, 'well I have to have a kid with the new guy too'......  It all makes me ILL........   (Make sure your child at this age, has the cell phone, has the i-pod, had the clothes he needs, has the money he needs, and can go places... and like I said..... get your house picked up........ and cook some meals......).... 

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summe...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 11:06 AM

Well, I got to tell you Kay300, I didn't meet another guy when I was married to my 1st husband thank you. I was raised to believe I would never get divorced. And I left with my son when he was 2 years old. Divorce isn't the blame of everything! I have NEVER been selfish when it comes to my children. Actually when I got divorced I was so hurt I thought My son and I would be happy on our own. People should never judge or point fingers if you have never gone through it. All I was doing was asking some understanding women and moms if they have ever deal with this stuff.  My son has a strong head on his shoulders with very good friends. He is just going through the attitude thing that MOST kids go through some time or another.

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older
Oct. 7, 2008 at 11:15 AM

THEY ALL GO THROUGH THIS STAGE, BUT ONE THING I WOULD NOT TOLERATE IS DISRESPECT.  THERE IS HOPE, HE WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER, YOUR SWEET BOY WILL RETURN AND SOMEDAY MAKE YOU PROUD, HANG IN THERE MOM!

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Kay300
Oct. 7, 2008 at 12:08 PM

I did feel I was to harsh, and almost wrote to take it back.... because every circumstance is different....  I got the feeling you were remarried with a few more kids........ maybe maybe not.........  I know its hard on the kids....., but anyway...............  (yes teenagers do go through different stages, mine just turned 13 so I don't know what all will happen).......  I don't think any of us have all the answers..........  your right you can't blame divorce on everything.......... --  Best of luck with everything, but I hope out of my 1st e-mail, you will consider and try some of my suggestions, maybe you are allready doing them all, .......  (they are working for me)... I mean are you going to listen to a mom who said, they eventually had to kick the kid out, or a mom more like me that has strategies that are working so far, ...  I hope it all works out well for all of you....... 

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summe...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 12:27 PM

You have a 13 year old.  My FRIEND went through this already with 3 kids so I think you need to quit judging. What's up with that?  You don't know how it will be for you in another year either.  By the way I do cook and clean for my kids.  I am a good mom too.   You don't need to respond back unless it's something positive.  I am a Christian so I know between right and wrong and I do teach that in my home.  But it doesn't mean life will be perfect. Being a mom is the toughest job in the world.  WE are not perfect!

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mindy...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 3:51 PM

I just want to make sure that Kay300 understands, that I did NOT kick my son out of the house, if you are referring to me....I believe you are, however, at 17 in the state of Florida he is allowed to leave his parents home and be on his own, this is what he CHOSE to do.  I never turn my backs on my children, I brought them into this world and I do everything in my power to raise children who are loved and loving.  However, I do NOT tolerate disrespect and never will.  Personally, I don't know how keeping your house clean, cooking dinner every night is going to make your child "behave" and too much freedom at that age is only looking for more trouble.  Kids need boundrys and protection, not freedom to go about as they may please.  He needs a strong mom and dad to make sure he stays in those boundrys.  Theres a difference in freedom to go hang with some friends from time to time, other than doing as you please.  There are also consequences to the actions our kids do as well as adults.  We decide whether we chose to do the right thing and reap good consequences over doing the wrong thing and having to suffer the consequence.  So.....as has already been said, stop judging, and allow this mom to listen to advice she asked for.......and let her decide what works out best.  Even tho I didn't agree with your statement I would have never said so to you until you chose to cut me down.  Come back to me when you begin to go through the rebellion with your own child and lets she if your way is still working

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traci...
Oct. 7, 2008 at 7:04 PM

mine is 16 and is FINALLY human again. From 12 until about 4 months ago he was the poster child for keeping abortion legal though Hold on. They do grow out of it but it takes awhile and if he is only 14 you have a while to go. If it gets too bad take him to see a neuro psychologist. Don't let others get you down with judgementalness.

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jmd959
Oct. 7, 2008 at 11:51 PM

Wow...this is my first time here and I came straight to this post because I am going through the same thing with my 16 y/o son.  Divorced for about six months now and he has gotten very moody and disrespectful.  Unfortuantely, after reading some of the posts from KAY, I'm not sure this is the forum for me.  Please someone tell me that this type of judging doesn't go on everywhere here?!?!?!?!

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