Here's Where I Am So Far

[bettyboopfla63]

Where am I so far?  Not much farther than I was last week.  In fact, if it's possible, I'd say I just might be worse.  

Things have come to light in the past 2 days that I'm trying to deal with (that's a whole other story for another time) and it's all just driving me nuts.  I'm still not sleeping well, and I'm having nightmares, recurring ones, always the same, not every night, but most. II can feel my anger is eating me alive inside and with each passing day, especially considering the shit that is being stirred right now, I find myself putting more and more blame on the ex-girlfriend.  I fear a confrontation is forthcoming and believe me, that will not end well.   My co-worker suggested I write her a letter, but I an "in your face" bitch; if I going to say something it will be to your face because I love to see facial expressions, especially when you hit that nerve where the truth is hidden.   I am now mulling over the possibility that I will not be able to get through this on my own and may actually have to seek professional help.  I experienced similar problems when my father died, not that he committed suicide or anything, and I sought counseling which turned out to be the biggest waste of my money and time.  I cannot recall having accomplished anything at that time.  I do recall her recommending that I buy a bicycle and begin riding it every night!  WTF, for $100 an hour the bitch better come up with something better than that.  I am taking my daughter to the juvenile grief counselor tomorrow, so maybe she can point me in the right direction.  Anyway, I have got to do something, sooner rather than later.

As I said above, there is a whole heap of shit being thrown around now and when I am able I will definitely sit down and write about it in post.  Right now it just pisses me off too much to even think about it. 

Wish me luck.

[TheLostMuppet]

Oct. 9, 2008 at 2:32 PM

Here if you need to vent =)
Itll get better, it has to.
{{HUGS}}

[RArnold18]

Oct. 9, 2008 at 4:07 PM

I'm but a couple hours a way, and can be there when ever if you need me.....