Pain

[forgivenservant]

Kylen, who used to be the smiliest baby ever - seriously - has recently been crying a ton, and I don't know why. He's not drooling, so I don't think it's teeth, but whatever.

Today he was cranky again, and when Nate got home and held him he just snuggled in. I've been really depressed lately anyhow, and so in frustration, I said "I think he just must hate me", to which Nate responds "It's possible".

I don't even know how anything more hurtful could possibly be said. Ever. And it's not like he was mad at me or in the middle of a fight or anything. He just honestly thinks it's possible my baby hates me.

Maybe I shouldn't be hurt that he said that. I mean, really, if I think it and say it, if I expect him to say something else, I'm just fishing for compliments, right?

All I know, is I am hurting SO badly right now. It seems like every time I turn around, my vocation as a mother is being undercut. And yes, often it's because life is stressful, or we're arguing, or whatever, and whatever I feel undercut by was said in emotion, but it's been more and more often, and this time... not out of any emotion whatever. And it hurts. I hurt.

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[Holly429523]

Oct. 9, 2008 at 11:03 PM

=(

wonder whats up with him?.....hmmm..

[Holly429523]

Oct. 9, 2008 at 11:05 PM

not sure whats goin on with you guys lately...but maybe hes stressin cuz your stressin??? Maybe Nathan just makes him feel calmer cuz hes calmer right now? who knows. gimme a call if your stressin and vent away! im usually NEVER too busy!

[danarae1976]

Oct. 10, 2008 at 12:12 AM

It's hard to say what is wrong with him.   I know that when I am sad, upset, depressed my daughter picks up on it and is awful. 

 

 

 

 

[forgivenservant]

Oct. 13, 2008 at 4:59 PM

Thank you guys. I agree that it would make sense if he was picking up on stress... but it's actually the opposite. When things were aweful with the move, he was smiley! Now that things calmed down, he got cranky - the depression came from a lot of things, but was triggered by his days of crankiness in the first place. Maybe he got used to stress and sees it as the way the world is supposed to be? In which case, I feel like the world's worst mom.

(Original Poster)