The Sin of Sex *small edit*
- October 12, 2008 at 9:33 AM by JoyeAustin
- 91 Comment(s)
- 2797 Total Views
The religious notion is that sex is a sin, reinforced by centuries of brainwashing from the Church that eternal damnation is yours for the taking--all you have to do is engage in a little premarital sex.
Let's examine what that has done to our society. Has it helped us or harmed us?
First of all, there is teen sex, often times resulting in teen pregnancy. Many of these children are never taught, either by their parents or by their educators, the mechanics of conception. Too many parents are completely geeked out by their schools teaching sex to their kids. This is possibly because sex is seen as a moral act instead of a natural act, the reproductive system being just another bodily system like digestion and circulation, for example. Can you imagine if parents protested kids being taught how the heart works, or the brain operates, just as vehemently as they do how our ovaries function?
This could be because of the religious connection to how we feel about sex. Sex is wrong, education about sex is wrong, it's all wrong wrong wrong. In the meantime, kids have sex anyway and get pregnant because they have no idea how their own bodies work. We are taught shame because knowledge is dangerous.
Abstinence only is a clever idea in theory. We all want our children to have moral fortitude. But reality has shown us that hormones trump all.
Another thing to consider is how a woman who has multiple sexual partners is seen as a whore, but a man who casts his seed far and wide is considered virile. Is this due to religion or nature itself?
A mother who has children with several fathers is unfortunately frowned upon. In our society, we want to see a woman married to a man for all time, bearing his children alone. In nature, we see males fighting for the opportunity to mate with the female in estrus, and the males of some species will kill the offspring of another male to set the female back into heat. We are, after all, just another animal of the earth.
And religiously, we have the whore and the Madonna, teaching us that a virtuous woman has no sex until claimed by her husband, and then will nurture her children with complete devotion. Single mothers have struggled for social acceptance and support. In times past, until not so long ago, an unwed mother was a thing of deepest shame to her family. Virginity is sacred.
How would we see these issues if our opinions weren't colored by religious values, sometimes even so subtly we don't even know it? What if we treated sex as another issue to handle like any of public health? The men of the Church who commanded the masses how to view their bodies and sexual urges were too often misogynists or emotional eunuchs. At times, people have been ordered to obey certain rules that have not been in their best interest, or that of the community--such as forbidding birth control in the poorest of countries.
At its best, religion does teach people how to be good, honest, and pure of heart, no matter what god or goddess is worshipped. Many people make it through difficult times solely on the strength of their faith. However, there are many ideas and moral notions that have stunted the growth and development of society, and I think sex is one of the biggest examples.
I would like to make a clarification to help get my point across a little better. Sometimes the comments left by you all help me understand in what way I wasn't clear.
I'm not referring to a specific, modern day Christianity. I'm talking about a historical span of time, an accumulation of religious doctrine that affects a vast number of people. I didn't mention Christianity on purpose, but what I was thinking about is the churches that made up the religions of our ancestors. Please remember, for example, that we are a country settled by Puritans, or that many of our forefathers lived their lives by the laws of the Catholic Church or the Church of England. Could those mores that rigidly controlled their lives back then be affecting us even now?
Also, there seems to be a lot of protest that the Bible does not forbid sex as a sin. While that is true, I would like to counter with the idea that what the Bible says, and what was said by those in power over the interpretation of the Bible, are not always the same. Remember that there was a time when most people couldn't read, and that Bibles were written in Latin. Priests often used "sin" as a means to control the population.
Tags: sex, religion, sin, faith, pregnancy, education, nature
- Written by JoyeAustin on October 12, 2008 at 9:33 AM
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Comments:
I agree with Missy....
Of course it's the parents responsibility to teach children about sex education. As much as it is their responsibility to teach biology, math, reading, etc. The problem is that so many parents lack the proper education themselves, so much of a childs' education is given from the schools.
Morality starts in the home as well. With your families' religion, background, etc. If we left the logistics to the schools, and taught the morality at home, it may help a child get a FULL education on both sex ed AND how to use it.
Fantastic post, Joye!!!
The mind is strong but the flesh is weak...or is it the other way around? It's very conflicting to have all these hormones and have to keep telling them "Down! Stay back!". I think that we're taught more that sex is for procreation FIRST, pleasure SECOND. Well, that was when the earth wasn't incredibly populated. Now, we're like a plague of people infecting the earth and using up its resources. (This has recently struck a chord with me.) Your post has made me think...a lot. Darn you.
Once again, great journal! Teaching abstinence is a great idea. Teaching a child about sex: the good AND bad is even a better idea.
This is fantastic, Joye.
Personally, I would rather my (future) teens wait until their brains catch up with their bodies before they have sex, but in the event that this doesn't go my way, I want them to be fully armed with knowledge. My preference doesn't have to do with religion, but rather, experience. For something so basic in nature, it sure comes with a lot of conflicting emotions and consequences, doesn't it? Something that I believe the majority of teens can't really grasp, due to lack of life experience, thus it's my job to teach them that this act can and will have consequences. Morality, in truth, plays a very small role in it. I want them to be SAFE, first and foremost, and keep their partners safe.
This is pretty heavy duty thinking for me this early in the morning.
I have a friend who keeps to herself the fact that she has had a multitude of partners in her life. She says that most people treat her differently when they hear "the number". This woman is a wonderful friend and a good mother, responsible, donates time and money to various charities, is educated, and yet, can be and has been ostracized because of her personal choices. Like who and how many people she has had sex with matters! It boggles me that to many, it does.
Good post, my friend.
I am a Christian and not perfect but forgiven of my past, present, and future sins. Yes, I had premarital sex, with many men(not getting into numbers! LOL) However, the reason I plan to counsel my dd about saving herself does not have totally Christian reasons. Yes, I am doing it because Christ made very clear the sacred right of a man and woman to share sex with each other only in the bonds of marraige. however, having had premarital sex, I know the logistical problems with it as well. My sister got pregnant at sixteen, and thankfully I never caught a disease, but that was purely protection from my Christ I beleive. Also, why does noone want to mention the emotional ramifications of premarital/extramarital sex?
When you have sex outside of the marraige bed, no matter how modern or liberal you may be, you form an emotional attachment to the person, even for a one night stand. I don't know how many times my heart was hurt and broken because a man I had sex with broke up with me, or refused a relationship at all! It hurts to allow your body and heart to be used like that and yes, you are allowing it if you are not raped, and yes, it is using. You and your partner are only in it for pleasure, no matter how long you have been together or what your future plans are. It is much easier to walk away from a serious relationship involving sex than a marraige. Tell me it isn't! LOL Becuase of these emotional problems associated with premarital sex, I will counsel my dd not to dabble in it at all. Yes, I will still teach here how God created the human bodies with the miracle of producing children inherent in them, and exactly how He enabled that to happen. But a little knowledge of physical happenings will not keep her from sex(I know from experience) which is why I will also share the emotional problems with it.
I agree
I am a christian but have no problem with sex education I teach my kids about their bodies and how things work. I am a mother of two teen boys and am very happy with the relationship we have they are very open with me about everything sometimes it is things I don't want to hear like when My oldest (16) girlfriend told him she wanted to have a baby we talked about it and I asked what he thought about this I do believe sex should be saved for marriage but I also understand teens and hormones and how they tend to not think things through so I am all for getting condoms for my boys. Just in case they are ever in a situation where they are going to they are protected I am not naive I do not want to be a grandma at 34 I want my kids to have things better then me and their father we got preg in high school and got married I want my boys to experience life first . Great post
The confusion I am reading into this question is the religion aspect. Let me clarify that for a moment.
From what I understand the Bible does not teach that sex is bad. It does teach that sexual immorality IS. And yes I read the Bible on a daily basis. To me sexual immorality is to have multiple partners before AND after marriage. I am a relatively new Christian and my past would put Mary Magdalene (not sure how to spell it) to shame so I'm not going there. ;-)
What I have come to believe is that for ME, if I had to do it over, I would wait until marriage. Why? Because the most precious gift I have ever had is me and too many partners means the gift of me has no value. Make sense? That is what I teach to my daughter. I realize that she will have to make her own choices when she gets to that stage (which will be sooner than I would like!) all I can do is teach her to respect herself AND how to protect herself.
Like so many other issues, sex is a personal choice. My "sadness" regarding this issue is that it appears that most people use sex like a party game. The more partners the better and who cares? It sometimes makes me wonder why these people don't respect themselves, or why are they looking for love in all the wrong places?? Not a condemnation, just an opinion based on why I had indiscriminate sex for so long.
Anyway, it is MY responsibility to teach my children about sex, protection and morals based upon MY beliefs.
Good post.
Joye, you dirty, dirty whore. Love you!
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Well, SOMEONE needs to teach kids of how their bodies work and what will happen in the event that they practice unprotected sex.
Yes, first and foremost, it is the responsibility of the parents to do this. But, in more instances than not, they don't. Maybe because of their fear of having to face the reality that their "baby" is no longer a baby, but a young adult. Or, imbarrassment of what the child may think as they have "the talk" with their parents. There are so many factors that can come in to play as to why parents are reluctant to give the talk.
So, why not, as long as it is age appropriate, let the education system teach these kids about sex and it's after effects. Both in protective sex and unprotected sex.
It is a fact of life that we all as parents must face. That our kids could be the ones having premarital sex. Why not let them know that while you don't condone it, if they do have sex, that they will keep themselves and their partners safe?
mom0f3angels Oct. 12, 2008 at 9:47 AM