death

[firecat8301]

I know that its over a year that my father passed.  He had a motorcycle accident.  He hit a road sign.  He broke 8 ribs, had a lung get punctured, the other one collapsed, He broke his right shoulderblade.  They airlifted him to St. Lukes Hospital in Bethlehem PA.  The day after he got there they found out that he had a massive stroke that killed the front half of his brian.  The part that controls everything but the heart and lungs.  They found out that he had  a blood clot in each corrtaid attery and 3 in his heart.  But the two arterys that are in the back of the neck were ok.  The back half of his brian that controls his lungs and heart were still working for the moment.  It took the doctors another 24 hours after that discovery to finally decide to decalre him brain dead and give him a time of death of 12:55 PM on July 12,2007.  My father was an organ donor.  We donated his kidneys, liver, his corneas, pancreas for medical research, I think skin.  So I know that a part of him is still alive.  That was the day that my world turned upside down  and hasn't been the same.  I have been fighting depression, refusing to talk to a doctor about how I feel.  But around every holiday, every birthday, well just about everyday I think about what happened and it just makes me mad.  Why did this have to happen.  Why do my kids have to be cheated on not having a grandfather.  My husband's father died when he was 12 when a drunk driver hit his car.  When I hear of my friends say things about their fathers I just miss mine even more.  All of my pics of him are in a box in the corner of a closet.  I can't look at them without crying. I'm hoping with me writing this, that maybe I will finally get teh healing process to finally start.  

Here's a little bit about my father.  He was 44 yrs old when he passed.  He had 3 boys and 1 girl.  He was a volunteer firefighter for 28 yrs.  He was a truck driver and he worked on cars.  He had 3 grandsons and 2 grandaughters. 

[AmericanChild82]

Oct. 15, 2008 at 6:00 PM

Oh hone I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Losing a loved one can be a tough feat overcome especially around those special days in the year. For a minute, imagine your dad was standing there talking to you. What do you think he would tell you? Would he tell you to continue to be sad and depressed over him passing away? Or....Would he tell you to get help because he doesnt want to see his little girl hurting and depressed like this? I think he would chose option 2. I will tell you what I was told and have passed on to other people. Time NEVER heals the pain, it only makes it bearable and there will be days when you worry that you've forgotten your dad. Then in a tiny milisecond you will have  a flash back of hey I did this or that with him. Be happy you have so many great memories of him, dont wallow in the sadness because nobody would want that for their kids. Would you want that for your kids if something happend to you? hmmmmm...lol...I didnt think so. So give that dr a call, get some help and remember your dad with a smile.