"It's Joe the plumber. I've come to fix the sink."

[PlanetMom]

I love the fact that my kids have graduated to that stage where they can (and will) go outside and blow the stink off them. Without me. I can vegetate here at my computer, blissfully typing all the meaningless drivel I yearn to share with you (and I will...I promise), while watching them run and jump and climb and twirl and whatever else it is that kids do to entertain themselves in the great outdoors--to include "squishing only the bad bugs, Mommy."

So now to the task of sharing meaningless drivel...what shall I tell you about? Well, perhaps I should reveal my current (and mildly immobilizing) preoccupation--that of being thoroughly convinced that the plumbers "...who came to fix the sink" (neither of whom was named Joe, incidentally) had every opportunity to install one of those hidden camera doodads in our shower. For crying out loud, they trudged up and down and up and down our stairs and into and out of our master bath at least 600 times! Unsupervised! What was I thinking?!!

Logically it follows that they did, in fact, install something sinister. Something unspeakably evil. Something horribly invasive. The whole thing just creeps me out--in a Sharon Stone Sliver sort of way.

Of course, this proves I am completely insane--never mind hopelessly paranoid and utterly irrational. Good God.

But this is how my mind works. Or doesn't. I get something entirely stupid like this solidly wedged in my head and I. Can't. Let. It. Go. I'm shampooing and lathering and warbling (at best) some silly ass song while in the shower--the one that those wonderful plumbers so expertly repaired--while secretly wondering, "How do I look? Is this freaking thing recording in color or Psycho-ish black and white? Have the fools been kind enough to put tape over my eyes and to erase 20 or 30 pounds? Is that even possible?!!"

Paranoia is a strange and crippling thing. Perhaps I need shower therapy.

But I won't be calling the plumber--even Joe, the plumber.

Planet Mom: It's where I live (not so lucid at times). But you can still visit me there at www.notesfromplanetmom.com. And while you're there, check out my Zazzle-fied virtual store. I've got some OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY "Joe the Plumber T-shirts!"

Copyright 2008 Melinda L. Wentzel