Why I am the Lucky One

[melissab1998]

I recently gave birth to my second child.  Now I am the proud mom to two wonderful sons.   Since I had a c section It was hard for me to take care of my five year old son.   As hard as it was I let Jacob go to his great grandmas for the week.   Because I cant bear being away from him for long, we went to visit every day and spent time with him.  He has autism and didnt seem to understand who this newcomer was that is taking over his house and his mommy.  I made sure that I spent time with him while we were there and I let ohers hold the baby.  It was hard for me to leave him each day.   Wednesday was especially hard for me because he cried for me.     My husband took the baby to the car as I pried Jacob off of me.   His grandma was great and distracted him but hearing him call for me broke my heart.   I got in the car and burst into tears.   My husband couldnt understand why I was crying.   All I could say was I cried because Jacob cried for me.  He said well he missed him too.   I tried to explain that it was different.  It wasnt just that I missed him.   He has taken up so much of my heart, and my time that its hard being away from  him.   It was then that I had a sort of light bulb moment.  I realized that my husband couldnt comprehend how I felt.   As a woman I am blessed more than I realized.  I get the priviledge to carry these precious boys in my body for nine months.   I get to feel their first flutters and kicks.    I dont  have to share them with anyone.   I am there in that hospital as they breathe their first breaths.   What amazes me is this bond I feel instantly.      I feel this surge of love for this new being that  have just met.    The best part, this baby knows me from the first moment I speak to him and hold him.  He knows I am his mommy.   My touch.. my scent comforts him.   Even though I am clueless as to what his needs are.. just holding him close brings him comfort in a way I cant comprehend.   Sure Father's are important but for the first moments... mommy rules!    I couldnt explain to my husband why I was crying.    No matter how old my babies get, I will have this connection like no other.  I am so blessed to be their mother.     That is why I am the lucky one!

[SUNSTAR933]

Nov. 14, 2008 at 6:14 PM

That is so right.  What you wrote was so touching.

[willysmama]

Jun. 5, 2009 at 4:25 PM

that is so right!