Week three - 40 Days of Love...

[jencrazywith2]

So today's class was about confrontation... something I am not very good at. The message was powerful and painful at the same time. I know there are people in my life that need confrontation, for no other reason than I love them and they are hurting themselves and the people that love them. Yet, I am not strong enough to accept the fact I might lose them for good after the confrontation.

Why do I not talk to people awhile after a confrontation - anger, resentment, fear? Why don't I confront other, fear of loss...mmmm... I am sure there is a technical explanation, but I am not ready to hear it...

Last week lesson's was hard to, it was about showing people you love them even when they are hard to love... what keeps us from loving... Mine is resentment... I love my family (my sister, her hubby and my niece) but I resent the way they treat me. I love my mother too, but since her drunk driving incident I don't trust her and I resent the fact I can't trust her. So much resentment, it is making me tired...

I planned this great self discovery voyage and i can't even pursue it! I am afraid, afraid I will find I am just like them, afraid that I have let too many things eat at my heart to move forward. I am trying... God only knows how hard I am trying - will it ever be enough?

I am depressed tonight... feeling like it is a lot of fight for little reward... Going to quit now... Night!

 

[Belinda3]

Oct. 23, 2008 at 10:15 AM

wow jen..I dont know what youre doing but it sounds like something I should try!!!!! I have so many people to comfront, funny enough I feel like you and Im affraid that once I say something theyll hate me and ill never see them again...instead im angry and resentful and avoid them anyway...so whats the difference anyway! Either way I dont have them!!!