my story ( i think this is where im supposed to write this stuff if not let me know) VERY LONG

[joyfullem]

Hello. I'm pretty new to cafe mom which i love.  I try to keep drama to minimum but sometimes i think im too abrupt or something and i piss people off.  I am 18 years old my second wedding anniversary was in Aug. and my first daughter is 13 months old ... and I'm due with my first son in Feb.  I got married when i was 16 to a 20 year old army PFC (private first class).  We got married Aug. 05-06 we met April 04-06.   Yes it was very very fast and everyone warned me against it.  He was supposed to diploy and we didnt know when so we rushed.  We moved in together in October and we Got pregnant Dec 26-06!! He went to NTC (national training center) in california for a month to train for his diployment to iraq in January.  He came home Feb 12 (i think) and then Diployed March 3-07.  I was pregnant and alone for 6 months of my pregnancy.  I developed pre-eclampsia had a baby who would not turn for anything and morning sickness till the day i delivered.  Not to mention heartburn from hell, stretch marks and everything else.  My daughter wasnt just breech she was Frank Breech, if you dont know what that is its where butt is in cervic and head and feet are in ribs.  My doctor informed me that there is almost no chance of that baby being able to turn.  You could see her head move against my ribs and my belly was lop sided she is still that stubbron too lol.  I'm not complaining I'm just telling it how it was.  I loved being pregnant i wanted a completely natural child birth no drugs, i wanted to breast feed her asap and i wanted it to be great.  Well after i scheduled the C-section I fought with the army to get him home in time.  My surgery was scheduled for Sep 7 th.  After sending him a red cross (because you can do that to get info like that to him) and repeated calls to his Rear- D  and after a VERY luck short trip (coming from iraq can take up to 3 or so weeks it magically took him 2 days) home he got here Aug. 31st.  We thought wow we have a week just us and a week with baby .... plans change I went in on the 3rd to get my blood pressure checked and it was 210/190 they wouldnt let me leave the hospital without a baby.  They said it in those words exactly and not nicely or comforting.  The nurse came into induce me, I told her no that I had to have a C-section.  She left the room and came back with the potossin (sp sorry) to start the inducement anyways.  Well finally a doctor came to talk to me and when i told him that I had already scheduled the C/s he felt my stomach and said yep your right.  So they wheeled me to the ER with hubby right beside me... and then all of the sudden he wasn't. I started to bawl I was scared to death and my husband had disappeared... the anestesologist (sp again) was so vicious no one would tell me why joe was gone or when he'd be back.  They also didnt tell me my options on drugs and jsut started poking me with needles which I am scared to death of.  I was threatened that if i didnt stop crying and sit completely still they would just sedate me and i would not be awake for her birth.  I was so shocked and again scared.  After i was laid on my back and all the sheets were up and all that(which i guess is when husbands are normally permited) Joe came back and i just was so thankful!!!  When Rebekah was born the doctor didn't say oh congrts she a girl or anything we only knew she was here because she started to cry and then a nurse led Joe away to be with the baby.  They let me see her for 15 seconds i want allowed to hold her or anyhting and then they led her away.  Once in recovery Joe checked on me and then went back to the baby as i wanted him to, but they still wouldnt let me have her.  This was very upsetting since i wanted to feed her.  Well once i got to the permenant room i begged for my daughter but they still wouldn't bring her to me for another 5 or 6 hours.  That isn't normal.  When I finally did get to have her the nurse snapped at me she told me i had to feed her that minute since JOe wouldnt let them give her a bottle.  As if i chose not to all that time.  The nurses continued to be very mean spirited the whole time i was there.  They picked apart everything I would do with her the way i held her, fed her, how often , in what position.  It drove me crazy!! They were trying to make her feed even when she wanted to sleep by putting cold wash cloths all over her and then telling me her temp. was too low.  I felt incappable.  In the hospital the nurses would give her bottles after strict instructions not to while i was sleeping and in result Rebekah stopped latching (in the biginning she would latch really well for like 45 minutes)  and she only bonded with Joe because i couldnt move.  I wasnt allowed to wwalk sit up or turn from sid to side untill well after 24 hours and when i did i nearly collapsed because of the pain.  Finally after sending in a social worker which totally degraded me I was allowed to go home.  My discharge instructions were " you can do whatever you want to do you have no lifting restricions or bed rest have fun"  Well I'm not stupid and i knew if i could barley walk I could lift or anything else.  At night when Rebekah needed me Joe would have to bring her to me because i could not walk.  Well the incision started to look puff and yellow on one side and it made me VERY nervouse so i went to my doctor and saw as usual the incopetant nurse prac.  she told me it was fine and to not worry and go home.  So I did and low and behold 2 days later the infection had gotten so bad that it broke open and I nearly bled to death.  My husband (dont forget was on R&R from Iraq)  called the doctor in hysterics I mean his wife woke up in the middle of the night covered in a pool of blood.  My doc went on to tell him pour water on it if it stops bleeding dont worry about it.  It didnt I was in the Hospital for another 2 days and i wont explain what they had to do to pop the blood pockets that had caused the infecation.  Then they didn't sew up the open area because it neede to bleed out which it did for another week.  Joe left back for Iraq the day after I left the hospital.  He was diployed untill May of this year our daughter was 8 months or so old (14 months in Iraq)  and that had taken its tole on him he was such an ass.  He was frustrated irritable and annoied all the time.  Rebekah became scared of him because he yelled all the time and got to be where he wouldnt even come home at night.  I left him last month.  We are working it out however froma distance.  This pregnancy is about 24 weeks over and is going very well other than i don't think I'm gaining enough weight (3 pounds in 6 months). I have to have another C/s but at a different doc and hopefully not emergency (pray for me please) and my doctors are watching out for blood pressure and infections now!!  I just wanted to share my story.  I haven't really figured out how cafe mom works so just be patient with me. If you have any suggestions about anything let me know thanks

[mawyki]

Oct. 23, 2008 at 8:16 PM

Well, I was a marine wife at 17 and it lasted 2 kids and 4 yrs.  My ex-husband was not a bad guy, but I can tell you anyone who tries to be an adult when thy are still a child, has alot of growing and more importantly changing to do.  Kids change who you are and what you want out of life.  I am sorry to say if your husband who is also a kid in't growing with you because he isnt sharing the experiences, then it will be a miracle if you come out on the other end together.  Also - children are not better off with two parents if the happiness isnt there.  these are things I know.  I am 38 yrs old, I have been married to the right guy for 10 yrs and I have 4 kids, and there are 3 fathers, becasue I knew what kind of relationship I wanted ,....once I grew up.

P.S. I fhte medical experience was a military hospital, sounds typical.  You aren't crazy, childbirth isnt supposed ot be like that.  Good Luck!

[joyfullem]

Oct. 23, 2008 at 8:24 PM

NOT A MILITARY HOSPITAL ACTUALLY CIVILIAN I THOUGHT I SHOULD SAY THAT  honestly i have had much much better experiences at military that civilian

(Original Poster)

[adamsmommy08]

Oct. 23, 2008 at 9:59 PM Im a civilian wife, but I did have a c-section and the dr's were asses, but I did have three good nurses when I was in labor but after the nurses liked to other lady in my room more than me. So I never asked for anything I had my husband get it for me. The nurses would hardly bring me my meds. My next c-section I hope its better maybe I want be put to sleep next time. But I wish you luck on this pregnancy

[winkyamy]

Oct. 24, 2008 at 2:04 PM

About the weight don't worry.  I lost weight durning my whole pregnancy and wasn't gaining.  But they said it;s ok the baby is gaining and doing fine.  So that meant when she was gaining I was loosing what she was gaining all the time.

[Momma3xs]

Oct. 28, 2008 at 9:42 AM

I also married my husband shorty after meeting him(about 6 wks)I had a child already and we had 2 more in 3 yrs.It is a definite roller coaster ride.I think we have a lot in common

 

Proud to be an Army wife;Momma3xs                                            

 
.

[AKelly622]

Oct. 31, 2008 at 9:51 PM

My God thats a lot for a young woman to go through! I wish you nothing but the best of luck this time, and you and your family have my prayers.

I met my hubs in August 04, started dating in Sept 04, moved in together Jan05 (New Years Eve/Day actually) Engaged by April 05, married in June 05. LOL So we definately didn't take our time, though it was longer then a lot that we know.

We have been through a lot together. Its never a piece of cake, and 4 years later we finally seem to be getting it consistantly right!

There is hope! Stay strong!

[Chubs2010]

Apr. 14, 2010 at 1:21 PM

All I have to say is WOW! You have been through alot! My prayers go out to you and ypur family!!