April 12, 2007

[luvbabies2]

Well its another day and the kids are great. Ben is learning to talk more and more everyday. Madison got her shots on monday. The doctor said she is doing good, he also told me it was ok to start baby food one at a time. So on Wednesday I started her with carrots, she ate them all. She is not really a picky eater, she eats pretty much of anything.

Ken and I are still not getting along . I guess it seems as if we had so much in common when we first go together, but now we just live in different worlds. Im just not happy. He gives me no affection ever. Yesterday he basically said it was my fault because I never sit by him on the couch. So what did I do, I went to sit by him thinking her would show me some affection. But no when I get there and lay by him like he always says I never do, what does he do but put his hands behind his head and still not touch me. It may seem petty to everyone but it just breaks my heart. So I told him that was the reason I do not sit by him, he never acknowledges me anyways, so why should I. I guess I feel as if I shouldnt set myself up for disappointment. We do have to small kids and I know that puts a big toll on our realtionship ad our time together. We never go on dates, although both kids are in Bed for sure by 8:30 every night. I just dont understand why he cant plan something romantic at home. We have absolutely no sex life. Maybe we do it once a week and that seems fine with him, so its definately fine with me. He always wants me to start it, but I dont. Why you ask? For one it takes me longer to get in the mood that it does him, so by the time im actually ready he is done, and I feel no emotional connection with him. Who wants to be close to someone they are not connected with emotionally. If anyone has any advice please help me. I feel as this is only getting worse, and it is almost out the door if you know what I mean. Thanks for everything Vicky