Ok, so none of you has ever actually met my mom, but I'm sure most of you know someone like her- thinks she's right about most everything and hers is the only opinion that matters?  I love my mom, don't get me wrong about that, but she can drive me insane.  I'm only now getting better control over disciplining Colin.  Now that Cayden is here, she's getting worse about things.  She keeps telling me and everyone that will listen that his name has a girl's spelling just because of the y I put in there ( she even says it in front of Colin,who at least sticks up for his brother).  She also critisizes his hair, she "hates" red hair.  He's 2 weeks old and she still hasn't even held him.   I've done my best to ignore it all, but now she's started in on me- she thinks I should get my tubes tiedand feels I'm the one who is showing favortism because I'm taking care of the baby instead of doing everything for Colin who is almost 5 and short of meals, can do most things for himself, plus help me if I need it (he usually jumps right in and cries if I tell him no).  Help me with some advice please! Before I say something I'll regret.

Update-

She's now even gone to the extreme of removing both kids names from a set of pictures we had customized.  She didn't even tell me- my friend who took the pictures told me. I'm now at a point of oh well, because it hasn't done me any good to be polite to her about it.  At least his brother is sticking up for him!

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Comments:

PamsK...
Oct. 25, 2008 at 11:27 PM

I believe That you should think of ways to "kindly" answer these comments ahead of time and then when she makes one of these statements.  Genly but firmly state the comments that you've rehearsed. Ex. you know mom, God gave him his red hair and we just happen to love it.  If she raises and objection just repeat the same phrase again.

 

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Chibi...
Oct. 28, 2008 at 3:54 PM

I have tried being polite in the past, it didn't work for me. Therefore, I don't really know what to tell you except to be blunt. My aunt has three kids (24yo, 21yo and 16yo) and that means that she knows best for everyone everywhere and if you don't agree with her, then you're wrong or abusive or don't love your kids. Well, when I was pregnant with my now 8mo daughter, she told me that I'm going to neglect my then 4yo son because I'd love the new baby more. I ignored it outright for the first couple of weeks but then I snapped and told her "At least I'm raising my kids myself and didn't rely on someone else to do it for me." A few months after that, she made a few more comments and my husband gave her a piece of his mind. She's been fairly polite since then.

So... if you can, just ignore her. Otherwise, I'd say try to politely explain to her how you feel and what you do not appreciate from her. If that helps, great! If not, you may have to give her a piece of your mind and just hope for the best. Either way, good luck to you!

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