preggo & hormonal

[haileyraesmommy]

So ive been on my maternity leave and so know I have tons of time on my hands to think, clean, whatever. So ive been here sitting and thinking about my new baby that will be here in 3 weeks or less. which mind you i have a 2 year old (hailey)that was born with a bi lateral cleft. anyways i love hailey more than i have ever loved anything in this world. words cannot explain how much love i have for her. I know that God had sent her to me with a birth defect for a reason. It made me astronger person. No parent or child should go through the things that we (cleft parents/children) go through. Its a long hard process but its brought me to love for hailey so so much and now with the baby coming i dont know if i will love her as much as i love hailey. i know it sounds really bad but there is just a piece of my heart that hailey will always have. she is my angel. my everything. i know that my hormones are out the roof right now and thats maybe whu i have these emotions. geez look at me im crying now but i need to let it out. i wanna talk to my hubby about it but i dont think he will quite understand what im feeling right now. its so hard sometimes when its just me & hailey and we are sitting here. i just break down & cry cause i dont know what to do. ahhhhhhhhhhh. okay enough of my rambleing

[IsabelsMommy]

Oct. 27, 2008 at 3:21 PM

Talk to your hubby.  He may surprise you and be thinking the same thing.  We, too have a cleft palate baby (who will be 2 on 12/18) and a baby due 12/16/08.  We have both thought that we won't have the same love/affection for the new baby.  I think we will just have to wait and see.  I think that we will develop that new love for this new baby  and we will love them equally.