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What part of ADD and CAPD DON'T you understand?
- Oct 28, 2008 at 10:50 AM
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- Comments (9) Total Views (109) Everyone can see this journal post.
My son, Tyson, begged me to let him take up karate. So, I looked around, and found a place very close to our house, that I thought would be good for him. He told me he enjoyed it, and I know that to a certain extent, it can help with his ADD and self-esteem. Going in, I told the owner, and all of my son's senseis that he has ADD and Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I fully explained to them what both of these are, and told them that while I don't expect them to coddle him, I do expect them to recognize that he will need extra attention at times, and they were okay with this.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with CAPD, it's a disorder that makes any child who has it seem like they aren't paying attention, when in fact, they really are; they just need a moment to process what was said to them, and separate it from whatever other noise may be surrounding them at the time. It's VERY difficult for them to separate it-- so much so, that some of them, my son included, become overwhelmed by what may seem like simple everyday sounds to us without the disorder. Children with this disorder may stare blankly, in an attempt to tune in, thus giving the appearance of tuning out, or they may cover their ears, as if they simply can't bear the noise, or they could even have a meltdown. Case in point, while leaving the doctor's office the other day, a man in the car next to mine was starting his car. The very sound of his ignition starting and his engine turning so overwhelmed my son, that he nearly jumped out of his skin, and had to put his hands over his ears. While this is a normal sound that I and millions of others can and do simply tune out on a daily basis, my son can't.
Back to my story. Last week was belt promotion testing week. My daughter and my son are in the same age group, so they tested in the same area on the same day. Testing consist of the sensei shouting out stances for the kids to engage in, and the kids are taught to shout "hi-ya!!!!" loudly, as they are completing their stances. This isn't a problem for kids without CAPD, but my son couldn't separate the noise, so he just stood there while all the other kids did their moves, because he couldn't hear what he needed to hear. At the end of testing, the sensei called up everyone else's name-- my daughter's included-- to be promoted-- EXCEPT for Tyson's. He was SO disappointed and humiliated! He works so hard at home, practicing his moves, so I know for a fact that it's not that he just doesn't know his stuff or that he wasn't trying. I have had several discussions with all the senseis there, about taking him to the side and testing him separately, and they've all told me they have absolutely no problem with that. Today, they are re-testing him, by himself, which is what they should've done in the first place. But, I shouldn't have to go through this every time they ASSume he's not listening, and attempt to discipline him with extra push-ups or holding him back from promotions. These are grown ups, who are supposed to be running a business establishment, and I'm finding that I have to repeat myself to them almost as much as I do my special needs kids! The only reason I'm keeping my son there, is because this is something that he specifically asked me to put him in, and he would think I was punishing him if I took him out. At the same time, I'm not willing to compromise his self-esteem, and quite frankly, I'm about ready to tell the owner, and all the senseis exactly where they can put their black belts! 
Comments:
Thank you. I don't mean to say that I expect them to fully understand it. But if they say they're gonna make accomodations for him, then they should--kwim? I've done everything short of bringing in the actual psychological test results into the freakin' dojo. I figure if they don't even understand the words coming out of my mouth, they're sure as hell not gonna understand it on paper.
So do they not believe you or do they believe he has it and are just being mean? It seems like they're thinking maybe you just want him to get special treatment but maybe you should bring in the paper so that you can confirm it and let them know it's real and that they have to talk their time with him and not punish him for things he can't process quickly enough.
I think it's a combination of them not understanding it, and them just being set in their ways. The owner is a retired Marine, who has a black belt. Most, if not all of the staff and patrons are in some way affiliated with the military. The whole town's military! Not to stereotype, but there's just a firm belief in stern discipline all the time, especially for boys. A boy has to be taught to "man up", and what not. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard a mom refer to her son as "100% boy"-- whatever that means. It's a tough guy complex, if you ask me.
IMO-i would guess that part of it is that, unfortuantely, schools can be overly quick to label 'active boys' as ADD and want them all medicated- which makes it hard for the ones who do really have these issues to be taken seriously. so they have to 'be proven through fire' unfortunately.
and the Military Mindest is very, very true (my husband works for the airforce and this base has a lot of army and marines and it's like what you described)
but he is getting is one on one test now, right? so hopefully they will see it and not have to go through this every time.
My son's got the inattentive type of ADD, and almost flew under my own radar, because my daughter is the oldest, and she's got ADHD-- the hyperactive, impulsive kind. So, after she was diagnosed, I didn't even entertain the thought that my son might also have AD/HD/D, because he's the complete opposite. He's so quiet and serious, kwim? It was all still so new to me. It was actually the pediatrician who thought he should be tested, because it's thought to be hereditary, and at one of his exams about a year or so ago, I'd just casually mentioned some concerns I'd been having about him. I think if it'd been left up to many of the teachers here, they may have simply ignored the concerns. The schools at this particular duty station aren't very accomodating with their IEP's and 504's. I was even told by one psychiatrist (who had tested my daughter for dyslexia) that the school system here doesn't acknowledge dyslexia as a learning difference. This is why I homeschool. If I didn't , my kids would be WAY behind. BTW, yes, he was re-tested alone today, and passed! He couldn't wait to show off his yellow belt!
the school sytem we were at earlier didn't recognizre dyslexia (but we homeschool too so it didn't matter. I just felt really bad for all the kids there with dyslexia).
YAY on his yellow belt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you :)
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I don't expect anyone to undertsnd that doesn't have kids who have it. 2 of my boys have ADD/HD and CAPD and SID/Dyspraxia. I really don't think anyone can understand if they don't live it daily. I hope your son's retesting goes well.
maybe now that they saw that testing him with the group didn't work, they'll do better next time.
- Kiter
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