Dirty, Rotten Tricksters

[PlanetMom]

My youngest children recently informed me they weren't at all interested in being cute, cuddly or even remotely adorable this Halloween. Instead, they've opted for the embodiment of all that is wicked, evil and downright horrifying. Forget the plump pumpkins, whiskered kitties, floppy-eared puppies and the most endearing little lumberjacks I ever saw-the ones my husband and I painstakingly adorned with pointillism-inspired beards (read: charcoal eyeliner) and then hauled from porch to porch in his red, wooden wagon, its rugged wheels rumbling over hill and dale, filling the night air with a symphony of sound.

Apparently those days are over. My charges have turned the proverbial page as worldly second graders. They've gone from charming to chilling, from harmless to haunting from droll to dark. Seemingly overnight. Indeed, they would rather terrorize the neighborhood as a green-faced, broom-wielding witch ("...because witches are scary, Mom!") and her vicious beast-of-a-pet cat ("...because that would really creep people out, Mom!"). A black cat, of course. With a rubbery and decidedly dead rat dangling from its maw.

It could be worse, I suppose. I could have caved to their incessant pleas for costumes that made my skin crawl (read: the vat of horribleness that featured bloodstained fangs, impaled heads and severed limbs). I drew the line at gruesome this year, knowing full well I will lose that battle someday. My concession was agreeing to the purchase of black lipstick and nail polish. I figured I could tolerate at least that much macabre nonsense-as long as they promised not to go goth on me as teens. 

Yeah right. That's a promise they'll soon forget.

Planet Mom: It's where I live. Visit me there at www.notesfromplanetmom.com.

Copyright 2008 Melinda L. Wentzel

Tags: funny, growing pains, halloween, kids

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[Fawn80]

Oct. 31, 2008 at 10:19 AM

LOL.  I know the feeling.  My 10 year old took foreeeeever to decide what he wanted to be and finally (begrudginly) settled on Darth Vadar.  Luckily my 7 y/o who has been a princess every year took the step up to Rockstar and is Hannah Montana - just as she has had planned since July.  I still have my baby, though - he is a precious, cutie-pie scarecrow.