Yes. I know I am being a Bi%#h.

[mom0f3angels]

October was just not my month. For some reason, I had the worst luck. Honestly I felt like I was being picked on, like a little kid on the playground.

First, I got really, really sick. At first, it was the Flu. Within a week, it turned in to Pneumonia. Of course, that put me in the hospital.

During the first week of being sick, I was going through withdrawl from cigarettes. Since then, actually, almost three weeks now, I have not had a single cigarette.

Then, three weeks after initially getting sick, my husband's cousin's ex-long term girlfriend was killed in a really horrific accident. One that was easily preventable. It's called not drinking and driving.

Now, I have found out that both the television news and the news paper had royally screwed up when it came to devulging the information about the accident and it's aftermath.

No wonder I have been feeling, talking and writing like I am such a bitch. Add the problems with my son and the school system on top of everything else. What do you get? An even crazier, upset, loud mouth bitch.

Either I need a stiff drink, or I need a damn cigarette. Honestly, I am about ready to break. And I will be honest again. I had felt better while smoking than I have since I have quit. Before I took my last drag, I didn't cough in to oblivion several times a day. My lungs actually didn't feel like they had lead weights attached to them. It almost like quitting has made me feel worse than better.

Yeah. I know. I have come a long way. I know it is a nasty habit that I should not go back to. But damnit! Coffee in the morning and trying to keep my mind "busy" is just not cutting it anymore. And it is starting to show in the way that I deal with the kids, am around my husband and in dealing with recent situations.

So, I guess that for a while, I am going to be a bitch. For one reason or another. And for some reason, I really don't want to apologize for it.

[Guinhyvar]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 8:04 PM

I am so sorry that you're having a hard time. I hope that things get better. From one former smoker to another, you'll really feel better if you don't take it up again, trust me. I hope that you can keep on keepin' on.

Hang in there. Be a bitch here, that's what we're here for.

[thethings]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 8:09 PM

I have been there.  Just recently when I got preggo I quit.  COLD TURKEY!!! It sucked.  I was a total bitch.  Coughed until I barfed for weeks.  But now I feel great.  I knew I was doing the best for the baby and that was all that kept me going. Good Luck....Stay strong.

[marie111594]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 8:12 PM

"This Too Shall Pass"

I can so relate on the smoking but I can also tell you that it will get better! I quit in May after smoking 30+ yrs...the first month I felt like crap(it's all the gunk coming loose in your lungs) now I fell great! I miss my cigs...it's like a close friend has gone away...but the fact that I can breathe better and I don't wake up in the morning coughing makes it worth while.

[MrsPepcoors]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 9:03 PM

Remember Missy... your friends here don't mind if you want to bitch royally and cuss as well.   Who can blame you for feeling the way you do after the month you have had?  Please stay strong.. I KNOW you can do it!  It IS worth it in the end.  What doesn't kill us does make us stronger!  And.. as Marie said.. "this too shall pass"... just HANG IN THERE!!!

Love you!

[Lb128f]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 9:35 PM

It's okay, you don't have to....there is no need to apologize! Quitting is difficult and in stressful situations even harder...but, YOU HAVE done a GREAT job and for so long now!! I hope you will be able to find something to keep you occupied until the feeling of wanting a stinky stick passes!

[Redteux]

Nov. 1, 2008 at 11:23 PM

I actually like you when you're being a bitch!!!

Bitch away, darlin'!!  You do know what BITCH means, right?  Being In Total Control of Herself (even when you don't feel like it!)

[mom0f3angels]

Nov. 2, 2008 at 7:56 AM

Being In Total Control of Herself (even when you don't feel like it!)

Redteux Nov. 1, 2008 at 11:23 PM (Delete)

 

That is about the only thing I am in control of... Me. Other than that, I am screwed in all of the other departments.

(Original Poster)

[MommyJen]

Nov. 2, 2008 at 8:54 AM

I actually enjoy reading your "Bitchy" posts.  It is a way for you to get your fustrations out and we all get to learn a little more about you.  Hang in there, it will get better.

[kimberleee382]

Nov. 3, 2008 at 3:03 PM

You will TOTALLY feel worse before you feel better- as far as the quitting smoking is concerned.  YOU'RE DETOXING.  While you're body is cleansing itself of all the nasties coating your lungs and pumping through your veins, you're going to feel like death warmed up.  

DON'T GIVE IN!!!  It takes time and it's different for everyone...  but SOON you're going to feel WONDERFUL!!!  You'll see!

[kimberleee382]

Nov. 3, 2008 at 3:04 PM

Anyway, you're sexy when you hate everything ; )